


All those things, and me and you between them...

by Ponyonewt



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Credence needs a hug, Enemies to Lovers, Falling In Love, Gellert is an asshole, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, I promise, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Love, M/M, Percy mother is sick, References to Depression, Sad, Sad and Beautiful, Sad with a Happy Ending, Seraphina is the best friend, Theseus too, major character death but not one of the boys, percy needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:13:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 45,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27647318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ponyonewt/pseuds/Ponyonewt
Summary: Percival spent his life avoiding and hating Credence after his parents took him in. He always felt inferior to the young man. Returning home to spend time with his gravely ill mother, Percy is forced to live with Credence and get to know him. And perhaps in the end, despite all his prejudices, the young man will become far more important to him than he could have predicted.It's a sad story, since Percy's mother is ill and he suffers from a cruel lack of self-confidence, but there will be a happy ending for Gradence, I promise!
Relationships: Credence Barebone/Original Percival Graves
Comments: 24
Kudos: 25





	1. Things you say, things you hide

**Author's Note:**

> Well, it was supposed to be a one shot, but I was really inspired, so there will be 3 chapters. I hope you like it. <3 <3

Percival had just come out of an exhausting meeting when he received the first phone call from Mary Goldstein. The picture that appeared on his screen was the one where Mary held him in her arms when he was about 4 or 5 years old. He remembered that day at the beach perfectly... He watched the phone vibrate for a moment before putting it back in his coat pocket.

He picked up his briefcase, promised Seraphina that he would call her when he arrived home tonight, greeted his colleagues and employees, took the stairs of the big building, and finally went out into the icy winter air. He savored for a moment the cool wind on his skin, the bite it caused in his lungs. With his hands slightly shaking from fatigue, and probably from the coffee too, he lit a cigarette. And his phone vibrated again in his pocket. It didn't seem like his mother's best friend to insist so much. So after a nicotine exhalation, he picked up the phone.

"Hello? "

"Percival, I'm really sorry to bother you..." Mary apologized, in a small voice.

"I just finished my day Mary, you're not bothering me. " he said, starting to walk towards his apartment.

He could have taken a cab, but he really needed to get some fresh air and stretch his legs after the day he'd had. Goldstein was silent for many seconds, and Percy wondered if the call had been cut off. Just as he was about to ask if she was still there, he heard her trembling voice say:

" I don't know how to tell you this... "

And a sob resounded, ricocheting in the spirit of Graves. He stopped, frozen in the middle of the passage, ignoring the people who rumbled or sighed around him, unhappy that he was standing there. His heart quickened, his belly became knotted and a cold sweat ran up his spine. In the 33 years of his life, he had never seen or heard Mary Goldstein cry for no tragic reason; she was a true ray of sunshine, a wonderful person, a unique being that he had always considered part of his family.

" Mary, what's going on?" he asked, panicked.

The fear spread through his veins, burning his skin and his mind, tightening his insides a little more in a stabbing pain that made him want to vomit. Mrs. Goldstein cleared her throat to swallow her tears, and replied:

"Your mother is seriously ill, Percy. You have to come home. "

* * *

Coming back to Santa Monica had not been in his plans for this holiday season. Even less for an indefinite period of time... Even less to find his mother sick in his childhood home. The cab started up behind him and Percival picked up his travel bag, his eyes raised towards the building. He had a strange feeling in the depths of his stomach, an apprehension that he found hard to grasp. He hadn't been back here for three years... Since his father's sudden death, in fact. He took a deep breath, straightened up to give himself some composure before walking up the small alley. He rang the doorbell and a few moments later, Mary unlocked the door. A huge smile appeared on her face and she welcomed Percy in a slightly suffocating embrace, as she had always done.

"I am so happy to see you. " she smiled.

"So am I. " he replied, even though he wasn't really convinced, given the circumstances.

She then moved away from him and waved him in. Percival followed her without a word, listening to his mother's best friend tell him about the latest adventures of her daughters, Tina and Queenie, listing the stories of people he hadn't seen in years, carefully avoiding talking about the main subject of his visit: the state of Louise Graves' health.

Percival left his bag in the living room, took off his coat, and joined Mary who was serving them tea in the kitchen. He felt exhausted, unable to know what he should do and what his mother expected from him. He felt lost too, confused by the fact that he had come back here, that he was sitting in the same chair, in front of the same cup, in the middle of the same walls. After another sigh, he looked up at Mrs. Goldstein in front of him.

"Is she aware of my coming? " he asked.

Mary had a strange pout, clasping her hands around her cup while carefully avoiding Graves' gaze. He had his answer. A long sigh passed his lips as he brought his mug to his lips. The liquid burned his tongue, but he swallowed it in one gulp, as if the pain was a punishment expected for having refused to return for so long. And surely a foretaste of what was in store for him. Mrs. Goldstein opened her mouth to speak, but just as she was about to answer, someone ran down the stairs behind her, shouting happily:

"Mary, I helped her put on her red dress, she is going to be beautiful for the dinner of ... "

The end of the sentence died on his lips when the young man laid his eyes on Percival. Graves felt every muscle in his body tighten and he clenched his teeth to prevent himself from looking too cold. Mary seemed really uncomfortable and she looked down on the ground, as if she was trying to disappear.

Of course he was there... He was there all the time anyway. And apparently he had been there much longer than Percival. As always, warning Percival hadn't been a priority. And why bother contacting him, given that the messiah was obviously at home... 

"Credence. " he greeted him dryly, displaying a tense smile.

The younger man's smile had faded for a while, giving way to that neutral, unreadable expression that annoyed Graves. After a vague movement of his head, he simply replied:

"Percival... "

Well, it was a harbinger of things to come, at least. Home sweet home...

* * *

He had waited for Credence (or rather the "cricket," as he and Theseus had nicknamed him) to go shopping to go upstairs to see his mother. He really didn't want to know that he would be around when he will see Louise. Mary had asked him at least a dozen times if he needed something, and had told him another hundred times that she was there if he needed her, before leaving.

After a deep breath, Percival climbed the stairs, carefully avoiding the pictures of him or Credence that were posted on the right wall. It was hard to come back here, harder than he had imagined. He felt like running away to hide in his New York loft. The context didn't help, of course, but it went beyond that. Seraphina had told him several times that it was going to be complicated and hard. And he was struggling to define what was twisting his gut so violently when he knocked on his mother's door. Louise's tired voice invited him in, and after a short hesitation, he pushed the door open.

His mother was sitting in her bed. She was wearing her beautiful red flowered dress, the one she had worn so often for his birthdays. But she was unrecognizable. She was incredibly thin, with emaciated cheeks, black-ringed eyes, pale, livid, almost translucent skin, and hair covered with a scarf. She looked tiny in that bed and Percival's heart broke. There were medical devices around her, something that was taking her pulse and other technologies that Percy didn't know about. His mother's eyes lit up when she saw him, a sincere smile on her face.

"My baby!" she exclaimed, reaching out her arms to him.

Percy approached her quickly, taking her in his arms, being careful not to hug her too tightly. She looked so fragile that he was afraid he might break her. It was hard for him to hold back his tears. He had to be strong, to show that he was capable of being there for her, capable of overcoming the resentment that had been in him for years. Losing Albert, his father, without being able to tell him how much he loved him had been atrocious, he wouldn't make the same mistake with his mother. Louise ran her hands through his hair before pulling him away from her to get a better look at him, her icy hands framing his face.

"Oh, my baby. You look gorgeous, Percy! You look so much like your father. "

Graves had a little smile on his face, unable to know what to say to her. She detailed him for a moment, as if she was rediscovering him, before she lured him in so she could put a kiss on his forehead. He took her in his arms again, and she cradled him against her with tenderness. He felt like a little boy again, as if the last seventeen years had not existed.

After a while, Mrs. Graves invited him to sit on one of the chairs next to her, smothering him with the maternal gaze he had missed so much. She asked him how he was doing, how his work was going, the latest developments in his New York life, his collaboration with Seraphina, his parties with Theseus. In fact, she spoke to him as if he had just come to visit her, as if she was not sick, as if she was not in a bed and this room did not look like a hospital room.

And despite his efforts to act as if nothing had happened, to answer her with a smile, to appear detached and serene, Percival felt his stomach get violently twisted and a painful ball form at the back of his throat. And after a deep breath, he ventured to ask :

"How long has it been? "

He needed to know, needed to know how long she had been suffering. And selfishly, he needed to know how long he had been put aside, while the other one was there, tied to that house like a fucking parasite. Louise blinked, displaying that impeccable smile that Percival couldn't stand. It looked fake, and it was unpleasant.

"What, my darling? " she said.

"That you're in this state ... "

Louise had a grimace, standing up in her cushions. She looked away from her son, putting her eyes on her hands, as if she was expecting Percy to yell at her, and it upset him even more. Why did he always have to be the villain of the story?

"Six months... " she confessed, so softly that he almost didn't hear her.

His heart missed a beat. He wanted to vomit. Six months? Six months she was that sick? Six months that she was lying to him when he had her on the phone? Six months that she wasn't feeling well and he didn't know about it? Burning tears came to his eyes and he clenched his fists, his knuckles turning white, so he wouldn't explode at the feeling of injustice and betrayal.

"Six months? " he repeated. "Six fucking months, Mom? "

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to worry you, and Credence came back home to take care of me. "

Of course he came back. It was even amazing that he left at some point. Of course he was the first to know, of course! Percy let himself fall against the back of his chair, clenching his teeth, laying his eyes on the floor, wiping angrily the tears that were coming out of his eyes.

"I didn't want to worry you..." Louise repeated sadly.

"Didn't worry or didn't get involved? " he asked curtly. "Because Credence has been here since the beginning, and it didn't seem to bother you! "

He didn't want to be angry with her, especially in this context, but it was stronger than he was and it had been devouring him for far too long. Seraphina had told him that this reunion would be explosive, and that he had to be ready. Obviously, he wasn't ready enough... He was trembling, he was so tense, and he hated the exasperated little sigh his mother had after his remark.

"He's a nurse, Percy. " She said simply, as if that justified everything.

Percival had a bad laugh.

"Oh yes, of course! So obviously he's much more capable of taking care of you than I am. Of course, I'm just a stupid company boss after all... "

He felt so agitated and angry that he needed to get out. He was going to suffocate in that room if he stayed another minute. He got out of his chair and walked towards the door.

"That's not what I said, Percival. " His mother defended herself.

No, of course not, because she would never allow herself to say such a thing. But the sad truth was that she would rather have Credence at her bedside than him. At least, that's what Percy was convinced about.

"No, but that's what you think! " he replied. "Since the first day he came to live here it's been like that, anyway. The untouchable Credence, irreproachable! I don't know why Mary thought you would need me... "

It was cruel, and probably selfish to think like that, but this feeling of being pushed aside, left on the floor like something you don't want anymore, had stuck to him since high school. And it was unbearable. It had become so unbearable that he had stopped coming here, that it had consumed him to the point of depression, that he felt like he had to disappear. And God, it was painful. He put his hand on the handle.

"No, don't go. " his mother tried.

But he opened the door. And Louise's voice reasoned in the room and in the hallway when she cried out:

"Percival Graves, you stay in this room! We are going to have this conversation now! "

It was an authoritative tone that Percy had not heard since he was a child. And despite his anger and grief, he obeyed. He obeyed because he owed her at least that much, he owed her to stay, he owed her time, if only to prove to her that he wasn't as invisible as she had seemed to think he was for 17 years. He closed the door and leaned against it, trying to ignore the tears that continued to run down his cheeks.

"What conversation? What do you want to talk about? "

"Your behavior towards Credence. " his mother answered more calmly.

But Graves wasn't calmer, he wasn't more serene, more able to hear what she had to say. It was his turn to speak! It was his turn to make people hear what he had gone through and what his parents had so cowardly ignored. He had done nothing but keep quiet and suffer in silence since they had taken Credence in. And he hadn't had a chance to talk about it with Albert, so his mother was going to have to listen to him for two. He narrowed his eyes, doing his best not to scream.

"My behavior? My God, I've barely existed to you for 17 years and you want to talk about my behavior? Because obviously it has to be my fault!"

"You are jealous! You're jealous because you've always had our full attention and all of a sudden we turned to a little boy. A child who needed us, who needed our time, who needed our affection. "

It was deceitful and it was cruel to make him look like the ungrateful child, to make him look like a capricious and selfish boy.

"And that explains why you and Dad had completely erased me? Does it justify why you put me aside? "

Louise frowned. How could she be in such denial? How could she have been so blind, so obsessed with Credence not to see the deplorable state her son had found himself in?

"We don't have... "

"Damn it, of course you did, Mom" he raged, cutting her off. "It's been all about Credence for almost 20 years, and I've spent literally half of my life trying to make myself important to you again. But no matter how hard I worked, no matter how hard I tried to be perfect, no matter how blameless I tried to be, I could never hold a candle to him. When you were asked, " _How are the kids_?" it was always, " _Credence is first in his class. Credence is making progress on the piano. It's a difficult time for Credence. Credence has a lot of trouble with his homosexuality, coming out has been hard for him_." What about Percy? " _Percy's fine_!" Yes, because Percy, he's always okay, right? It's not as if he too has worked twice as hard as his classmates all his life to get the best grades possible, as if he won a scholarship during his studies, as if he too came out, as if he suffered humiliation all through high school, or as if he couldn't find any other way to get out of his pain than to slit his wrists all through college! Percy, he' s fine! He's always working it out on his own and he's always alone! And the most important thing: he keeps quiet! He's fucking silent. Jesus mom, you don't even know I'm gay! Last Christmas you asked me again if I was in a relationship with Sera! You don't even know who I am and the worst part is that you don't even care! "

His throat was so tight that he could hardly breathe. He was strangely relieved to finally be able to tell her, but this relief was muffled by the fact that Louise seemed to only now realize why her child had moved so far away. It wasn't childish jealousy, it was much deeper than that, a visceral fear of not being good enough, of having been replaced by another child who deserved their love more than he did. His mother seemed on the verge of tears. She swallowed with difficulty before saying :

"Percy... Percival, I'm sorry. He needed a mother. He needed someone to take care of him. He had suffered so much... I had to be his mother. "

"You were my mother too! " he shouted as he suddenly approached the bed.

And then something inside him broke, and his sight became blurred with tears he couldn't hold back, his body shaken with sobs so long repressed. He could barely breathe and he could barely get out of that horrible feeling of being worthless, of being nothing. He grabbed his hair, as if he was trying to pull it out before speaking again:

"You were my mother too, and I needed you, Mom! I needed to hear that everything would work out in the end, that I wasn't bad, that I wasn't different and that you would always love me. I needed you and you didn't see it! "

God, it was so awful to say it out loud, it made it so much harder, so much more painful, so much more palpable, like a knife going through your heart. But his lips seemed unable to stop pouring out everything that had made him suffer for so long.

"He's always fucking perfect! Always so miraculous and wonderful, and I'm exhausted mom. I'm exhausted from trying to get a little bit of your attention in his shadow. And it's even worse since Dad died. It's like you just don't want me anymore because I look like him and it hurts your heart."

He put his palms over his eyes, as if trying to stop his crying, or escape from the horrified face of his mother's guilt, but it didn't change anything. He felt pathetic, pitiful, miserable...

"Percival, of course not! I love you, my baby... "

And he had made his mother cry. My God, what a shattering return to the roots. He who had sworn never to make her shed a tear... He had failed at that too.

"Not as much as him... " he murmured, as if he couldn't help it.

Louise had a plaintive sound as new tears rolled down her cheeks. She reached out to her son, sobbing:

"Oh, my baby, of course I do! I'm sorry... I'm so sorry I didn't see how much you were suffering... Come here... Percy, please come close to me. "

Percival hesitated for a few moments, and this seemed to hurt his mother more. His crying had eased a little, probably because Louise finally realized what had separated them. And it was reassuring to finally be understood, to be heard, even if it didn't heal everything. Graves walked towards her, sitting on the edge of the bed so she could take him in her arms. It had nothing to do with the reassuring hugs she'd given him as a child, largely because now he was much bigger than she was, but God it did him good. He closed his eyes, letting his tears flow over his mother's shoulder as she ran a hand through his hair, laying kisses on his head as she repeated, "My baby." She rocked him gently, waiting for the nervous bursts of his sobs to fade away completely before saying :

"I love you, Percival, I'm proud of you! I'm really sorry, we should have had this discussion years ago, we should have discussed this a long time ago. But I was so caught up in... "

"Credence... " he interrupted her.

It wasn't dry or mean, it was just a statement, because it was the truth. Since his parents had decided to be foster parents and the cricket had come to live with them, his mother's first concern had been his well-being. So much so that she had assumed that 16-year-old Percival was old enough and strong enough to take care of himself. But Percival was fragile, he had always been vulnerable, and the indifference he had suffered from his father and mother, coupled with years of bullying due to his homosexuality, his insecurity, his lack of self-esteem, had done nothing to help. Sera and Theseus had been his support, his pillar, always there for him, always picking up the pieces, picking him up, shaking him up when necessary and holding him in their arms when he needed it.

"He's a lovely boy..." his mother continued. "And I wish with all my heart that you would give him a chance to get to know you. Please... "

Make an effort Percival, give him a chance... After all, if he's been living here for 17 years, maybe he's not so bad, right? Maybe the cricket is just a caterpillar waiting to turn into a butterfly. Even if, in terms of his physique, Credence had nothing to envy from actors and models: with his ebony hair falling in waves around his pale face. His well-defined jaw, his pink lips, his dark eyes, his long eyelashes, his slim, elegant silhouette, his delicate hands. _Fucking perfect this fucking cricket!_ Graves sighed softly, before answering, his voice hoarse because of his crying :

"I'm gonna try... "

Louise seemed reassured, as her shoulder muscles gently relaxed. She tightened her grip around him, putting another kiss in his hair.

"Thank you, my love. "

* * *

Percival woke up with a terrible neck ache. He had fallen asleep in the chair beside his mother's bed in an uncomfortable position, his hand holding hers. He massaged the back of his neck, forcing his eyes to open, looking around him. Louise was sleeping peacefully, and from the sight of the movement of the equipment, Credence had come into the room. Gently, Percy pulled his fingers from his mother's before getting up to place a kiss on her forehead and tiptoeing out of the room. He gently closed the door behind him before descending the stairs.

A Tracy Chapman album was playing in the house. Credence was in the living room, sitting across one of the armchairs, his long legs resting on the armrest. He was reading a book, the title of which was in French. "L'étranger" by Albert Camus. Well, what a coincidence... Because, of course, the cricket spoke French... My God, it was so unbearable. _Give him a chance, Percy, you said you were going to try._ he thought. Holding back a grunt of exasperation, he walked towards the living room leaning nonchalantly against one of the walls.

"What are you reading?" he asked.

Credence jumped violently, dropping his book on the floor. Percival knew he wasn't noisy, but he wasn't a ninja either. He bit the inside of his cheek so as not to smile, still allowing himself to raise an eyebrow. The younger one picked up his book, took a deep breath to calm himself, laying a hand on his chest as if he had been on the verge of cardiac arrest.

"Sorry, I'm used to being alone with Louise. " Credence said.

Okay, keeping his promise was really going to be complicated if the cricket was making those kinds of comments. Especially with this calm! God, was that kid incapable of having any emotion in front of him? What was he, a robot? What was that measured tone, devoid of any vibration? _I'm sorry to come home and bother you, Princess Credence._

Of course, this wasn't the first time he'd been here with Credence since he graduated from high school. By the time Percy finished his studies abroad, he had come back almost half of the summers, and at almost every holiday season, except for the last three years. But every time, there was Sera or Theseus, or both with him, he was never alone with "Mr. Perfect". And the cricket stayed on his side with Newt or the Goldstein sisters. And in fact, Percival was really not used to talking with him, he had become a master in the art of either avoiding him or simply ignoring him.

The younger one finally laid his eyes on him, raising his huge black irises, as if he was expecting Graves to answer him. Or that he would apologize for scaring him. No chance of that happening, especially after his little remark that didn't hide his: _this is my place, you're never here_. But what could he say to that? To the sad reality that after 17 years, now it was Percival the stranger. This thought irritated him even more. Without another glance at the younger one, he picked up his coat, swearing, making sure he had his pack of cigarettes before going out into the garden.

God, he wanted to shake him, that sort of... of... fuckin' angel with his perfect face, his model little boy attitude, his big bright eyes of a beaten dog. Ravenously, he kicked the grass. It was childish and he must have looked stupid, but he didn't care. With trembling hands he lit a cigarette, inhaling nicotine deeply, closing his eyes as he exhaled. The gesture relaxed him, as if his body had been waiting for this all day. And it probably had. His phone vibrated in his pocket, and after a sigh, Percy picked up the video call.

Sera's face appeared immediately. She looked tired. Percival did the math in his head: it was seven o'clock here, so ten o'clock there. With a bit of luck, his best friend was about to go to bed. Or open a new file with a cup of coffee…

"Hi, Percy!" she exclaimed with a big smile, as if she hadn't seen him in a thousand years and hadn't dropped him off at the airport that morning.

"Hi, Sera. " he smiled, continuing to smoke.

"Have you arrived safely? "

"According to you? " he answered, pointing to the house behind him.

He brought the phone in front of him. Seraphina seemed to be waiting for him to speak first, but he didn't know where to begin, so she started the discussion with a simple :

"How is she doing? "

Percy pulled at his cigarette, grimacing as he lowered his eyes, vaguely tapping his foot in the grass. 33, you bet, as soon as he came back here he was again the 16-year-old who hid in his pillow so as not to cry too loudly.

"She's really not doing well," he confessed. "I think I'm going to stay here for a while. "

With Sera, they had agreed: he kept his job, he took as much time as he wanted, he was just a little less paid. He didn't really mind, he had enough money saved to get by.

"Take as much time as you need, we take care of everything with Theo here. " She reassured him.

"Thank you. "

The camera moved, the screen went black, and Percival heard his best friend grumbling before the image came back. Next to her, Theseus' worried face appeared.

He and Sera were not a couple per se. In fact, they were, but they preferred to maintain the illusion that " _no, we're not in that kind of relationship_ ," while they lived together, slept together, were exclusive, went to movies, went out to restaurants, went to the park holding hands, etc. In fact, they were together since college. But every time Percy brought up the subject, Sera would always say, " _we're roommates with affinities_. " To which Percival just wanted to reply: YOU ARE A COUPLE!

"How are you, my Percy? " Theo asked him.

"As well as can be expected. "

Things weren't going well, he felt awful, but he couldn't see himself saying it out loud. Especially since it would have simply pushed his best friends to run here as quickly as possible.

Since high school, Theo, Seraphina and he had been inseparable. They had studied in England together, had all their birthdays together, had set up their business together, had the end of the year parties together. In short, they were, as Louise called them, the Three Musketeers.

"Were you able to talk to her? "

Which in Seraphina's language meant: _have you finally emptied your bag after 17 years of crying and suffering? does she know about your wrists and scars? does she know about your homosexuality? does she know about your depression?_

"Yes, I told her everything I had on my mind earlier. "

It wasn't entirely true, but there was no point in going into details. Most of it had been said. His friends seemed relieved to hear this, but they noticed that Percy didn't seem to want to talk about it, so they let him smoke in silence for a few moments before Theseus offered:

"Do you want me to come this weekend? "

"Why, are you going to visit your parents? "

"No, but I can take a plane with Newt, he's going home to see Tina. "

Percival had completely forgotten that Theo's little brother was dating the older of the Goldstein sisters. He thought for a moment, weighing the pros and cons of Theseus' coming. But what he needed most of all was to spend time with his mother, and to find his place in this house. If his friend came, he would simply offer him a New York bubble, Graves would put his suffering on hold, and when he left the following Monday, Percy would have to face reality all over again.

"That's kind of you Theo, but I prefer to be alone. "

He nodded, and just as he was about to speak again, Sera cut him off to say:

"And is the other one there? "

Percival laughed poorly, finishing his cigarette as if inhaling all the nicotine at once would calm his nerves about Credence.

"Of course he's here... The cricket has been home for six fucking months. " he answered dryly.

"Shit... " Theo sighed.

"Yeah, that's more or less what I thought too... But he is a nurse, so…"

Graves started to kick the grass again. And the image of Credence slumped in the armchair of the living room, completely at ease, twisted his stomach. Everything seemed so simple to him, and he seemed so indifferent to his relationship with Percy, as if the older one didn't matter enough to make him worry about the tension that was there every time they crossed paths. Seraphina finally got him out of his head:

"What did your mother say? "

Percival sighed, resigning himself to briefly explaining the emotionally draining discussion he had had with Louise.

"That she was sorry, that she didn't realize how much I was suffering, and that she wanted me to give Credence a chance. "

" And are you going to ? " Theo asked.

The question didn't apply, since Percy was going to have to take it upon himself, make sure he didn't upset his mother, smile, endure the cricket and his emotionless face whenever he came across it.

"I'm going to have to live with him 24 hours a day for the next few months, so it's not really like I have a choice. "

He hated the resignation in his voice, knowing that it was still up to him to make an effort, whereas Credence would most certainly continue to live as if nothing had happened, without at any time trying to talk to him. Percival could not even remember the last time they had a conversation. Had they ever had a conversation? Other than: " _how are you? Fine and how are you? I am fine._ "

"I know it sounds a little silly, but if you need anything, I'm here. " Seraphina smiled tenderly at him.

He smiled back at her, trying to hide as best he could how difficult the next few weeks were going to be.

"I know, thank you Sera. "

"Always there for you. " Theo added. "You call us if there's anything, okay? "

"Okay. "

"We're gonna leave you, Percy joli. I love you. "

There was something incredibly sweet in Sera's way of saying those words, like a caress on his cheek. It was as if she was taking him in her arms, as she had done so often, to promise him that he wasn't alone and that everything would work out in the end.

"Yeah, me too Graves, don't forget that. " Theo added, as if he was afraid of being excluded.

Percival laughed with emotion before answering:

"I love you too. "

And after a final goodbye, Seraphina hung up. Percival took a deep breath, hesitating for a moment before finally lighting a second cigarette. He turned to the living room. Through the large window he could see that Credence was still reading in his armchair, undisturbed.

He must have felt as if he was being watched, as he looked up at him, holding his gaze. They stared at each other for a long time, as if neither of them felt ready to admit defeat in this silent duel. Then Credence closed his book in a gesture so perfect that it seemed like a dance movement, and after a long eternity of keeping his eyes linked to Percy's, he stood up, walked to the window and closed the curtains.

Percival's patience was about to be tested...

* * *

Avoiding Credence was a lot easier than Graves would have thought. They had an unspoken agreement, a precise schedule in which they made sure that they each had time with Louise without ever being together in Mrs. Graves' room. They would sometimes cross paths, exchange a nod or a hello, before continuing their activities. When Percy would come out of his mother's room, Credence would enter a few minutes later, and vice versa.

Albus Dumbledore, the family doctor, would often drop by to see how Louise was doing, always offering to take her to the hospital, which she automatically refused. This house was the one Albert had built for her, the place where her children had grown up, and there was no way she would lock herself in a room that smelled of disinfectant and disease. She was stubborn, and Albus seemed largely resigned to her behavior, and before leaving the house, he always conscientiously repeated two things:

  * It was a good thing that Percival came home.
  * Credence was doing an exemplary job.



The first month went by quite quickly. Graves continued to work from home whenever he could, but he always put his mother before MACUSA, his company. Either way, Sera and Theo were incredibly efficient, and when they saw the benefits of the year, they were even able to hire an extra person to help them. Being reunited with Louise was a real liberation, a relief, and after the conversation they had the first day, his mother made sure to learn as much about him as possible.

They could spend entire days discussing, debating a film or a book, recalling memories, all punctuated by the interventions of Credence or Albus, and the indispensable nap for Louise. Christmas and the New Year were celebrated in small groups: Mary Goldstein, Louise, Tina, Queenie, Credence, and him. He spent the two evenings in the background, unable to find his place in the group which gravitated mainly around the cricket. And inevitably, the "Happy New Year," celebrated out of habit, this time had a bitterness that burned Percival's heart to the very depths of his soul.

He often slept in the chair next to Louise's bed, and forced himself to go jogging in the morning to relax his muscles. He was tired, and unable to know how to help his mother except by being present.

Credence was calm and respectful enough to never try to bother Percival. He never asked for help, took care of Louise perfectly (as always), and kept his emotions to himself. This was perhaps the most unsettling thing about him: that impassive, taciturn character that almost gave the impression that he felt nothing. Graves often cried, sometimes alone, sometimes in Louise's arms. But Credence always seemed to approach this tragic reality as a succession of banal days. 

Basically, Credence always took care of the meals, in large part because Percy was incapable when it came to cooking. He also took care of Louise's care and medication and did the grocery shopping to make sure that he bought the best for Mrs. Graves (and probably to maintain his food dictature of eating almost nothing but vegetables). Percy took care of the paperwork, mail, bills, housecleaning (which almost bordered on pathology because he was so manic) and laundry. All in all, the tasks were fairly distributed and their days were now settled like music paper.

"Did you talk with him? " Louise asked him.

Percy left the book he was reading to look up at his mother.

"No, not really... " he confessed.

Not to say: not at all. His mother made a small grimace, openly disapproving of this answer. Graves sighed softly, before resolving to announce in a resigned voice :

"I'm going downstairs to see if he needs help with the meal... "

A reassuring smile appeared on his mother's lips. Graves got up, placed his book on the bedside table, kissed Louise's forehead before leaving the bedroom and heading to the kitchen. Credence was leaning against the sink, motionless, looking out the window in front of him with an empty look. 

"Do you need help, cricket?" Percy asked.

The younger one startled suddenly. Damn, was he that scary? In one month he felt as if he had jumped more than when his father had bought the trampoline that was still standing in the garden. Credence turned to him, and in that same neutral and unbearable voice, he simply replied:

"Don't call me that. "

 _Fucking robot!_ Percival was about to turn around and tell him to deal with things alone when Credence's voice was heard again:

"I need help with the kitchen, can you take care of the meal while I prepare the medicine? You have to make a soup for her, the vegetables are in the fridge, they are already cut, you just have to heat them up and mix them. "

Graves stared at him for a few moments. Was it... was it shyness in his intonation?

Heat some water, put some vegetables to cook in it, mix it all together thirty to forty minutes later. There was nothing witchy about it.

"I'll take care of it. " He assured

Credence nodded vaguely, stepping away from the sink to look for a pill bottle in one of the cupboards. Before leaving the room, he whispered a faint "Thank you..." to Percy. Then he disappeared, leaving a strange feeling in the older man's mind.

* * *

Days followed one another, and soon the days became weeks, and slowly, March came. Living in his childhood home and working in telework was not as bad as Percy had imagined. It was even quite soothing to leave the suffocating pace of his business.

Theseus and Sera had come over a weekend, bringing gifts for Louise. Sera had cried, even though she had been far too proud to admit it. She had always wanted to be strong, mostly for Percy, whom she had looked after like a sister. Theseus had taken the time to play some violin pieces for Louise, him who generally refused to touch the instrument in front of an audience. As they were leaving, they had taken Percival in their arms for a long time, telling him several times how much they loved him.

By the middle of March, interactions between Percy and Credence became more frequent. And not exactly for the best. Cricket had this annoying habit of telling Percival what was best to do, how he should behave with Louise, what he could or could not do, what she could or could not eat. And it was beginning to irritate Graves, who contained his annoyance as best he could, mostly by expelling his frustration by running morning and night.

One evening, after spending half an hour explaining to Percival how to take care of Louise's meal (because Percy was obviously too stupid to know how to use a microwave), Credence left to go to the restaurant with Tina. And Percival's first decision, finally free of the cricket dictatorship over food, was to ask Louise what she wanted to eat. His mother thought for a moment before saying with a huge smile: A burger.

Percival took care of ordering their meal in one of the best restaurants, before making the decision to take Louise down to the living room. He paid attention to her intravenous drip, carrying his mother in his arms with tenderness before setting her up in her favorite armchair. She thanked him several times, visibly happy to be able to leave her room for a while. Percy thought that he would try to get her to change rooms more often, and that he would set up a comfortable place for her in the garden when the weather improved.

After a long discussion about which movie they would watch, they decided on a romantic comedy that Percival hadn't seen since he was a child. Louise was comfortably settled in, and he had wrapped himself in a plaid in the sofa next to her. They ate while discussing the film, commenting on the actors' performance, Graves joking about the attitude of the male character, happy to see his mother laughing.

They had almost finished their meal when a key turned in the door lock. Percival had the unpleasant feeling that the party was over, the cricket had returned, and the evening was ending there. It wasn't even nine o'clock yet.

Credence walked into the living room with his hands stuck in his coat pockets. At first he was surprised to find Louise outside of her bed, giving Graves an interrogating glance which he simply ignored. Then the younger one frowned when his eyes fell on Percy's mother's plate. Louise noticed his presence next to her, welcoming him with a joyful "Baby mine!". Yes, because Percival was " _my baby_ " and Credence was " _baby mine_ ".

"How was your evening? " she asked, reaching out to him to approach.

He came closer so that she could put her fingers on his wrist.

"Good... Louise, what are you eating? "

"Percy ordered us burgers, I hadn't had any for a long time. " She answered with a sincere smile for her son's attention.

Credence squinted his eyes slightly, raising his dark irises towards Percival. The older one held his gaze, as if he was eagerly awaiting his reaction. It was childish, he knew, but he had really pissed him off with all his recommendations, addressing Percy as if he was really stupid or that he was 4 years old. Besides, it had nothing to do with him. At least not directly. He hadn't just ordered food to piss him off, he had ordered it to please his mother. And that was the most important thing: that she was happy to eat that meal.

"I had prepared broccoli and fish..." Credence sighed.

His gaze grew heavier and heavier, and Percy thought to himself that it was the first time he had ever detected annoyance in his expression and his voice.

"I know, baby mine, but I felt like eating something else. " Louise explained, taking Credence's thin fingers between her own.

"It's not like a burger and some fries are going to hurt her, cricket. " Percival added.

"Oh yes, sorry, I forgot you were a doctor! "

The tone was dry, brittle, and Graves had a slight backward movement, surprised by the acidity in Credence's voice. So he was capable of emotions in front of him? But the surprise soon gave way to irritation. What was that accusation? Percival clenched his fists on his legs until his knuckles were white.

"Credence... " tried Louise, frowning.

"What's wrong with you?" Percy asked curtly. "Does it piss you off that things aren't going exactly as you planned? Not everyone is a robot like you! "

"Or an asshole like you, right?" replied the younger one, making a sharp movement in his direction.

Graves stood up with a leap. The cricket wanted war, he was going to get it! They were almost the same size, but Percival was visibly more imposing. And this insect wouldn't measure up if it continued to get on his nerves. But before things could get out of hand, Louise intervened:

"Boys, please! No arguments, please... I would just like to spend a quiet evening with you. "

And through this simple intervention, the tension fell back as it had risen. It was not about them, it was about Louise, her well-being, her happiness. Their schoolboy feud could wait. Without another word, Credence took off his coat before sitting in the armchair next to Mrs. Graves, opposite Percy. He returned to the couch.

The film continued, but it didn't have the same flavor, the same atmosphere. Percival was far too aware of Credence's presence, and it twisted his stomach. But as always, he took it upon himself, clenching his teeth, keeping silent. His mother first, the case of the cricket would be dealt with in due time.

* * *

A fortnight later, Louise had a violent seizure. Percival was at her bedside when one of the devices next to him panicked, pulling him out of his sleep. His mother was having trouble breathing, wiggling in sudden and painful movements. Credence ran up a few seconds later, ordering Percy to call Albus while he took care of Louise. Graves did so, waiting with excruciating apprehension for the doctor's arrival. A few minutes later, Dumbledore was in Louise's room.

The most atrocious part of it all was watching his mother suffer terribly, seeing her writhing on her bed, and being forced to stay outside. Because Credence closed the door in front of him, completely excluding him from the room. Percival remained frozen in front of the door for long minutes, anxious and shocked. He felt useless, horribly useless, and this brought up a frustration that made him want to vomit. He ran to the bathroom to empty his entire stomach. His mother's cries echoed through the house, and Percy burst into tears, huddled on the cold tile floor.

After an eternity, Louise's voice faded and, with his body in pain, Percival got back on his feet. He washed his mouth and then his entire face, before walking towards the door of the room. He leaned against the wall, barely bearing the wait that suffocated him in this oppressive silence. Albus finally came out to tell Graves that the crisis was over, that his mother needed a lot of rest, and that if necessary, he would keep his phone with him. Percy nodded vaguely, not knowing what to say. Dumbledore put a reassuring hand on his shoulder, his face showing a compassionate expression, that Graves immediately hated, before he left. He entered the room, approaching the bed in a gesture made slow by apprehension.

His mother was pale, thin locks of hair stuck to her forehead by sweating, her breath was wheezing, and her condition imposed on Percy a realization he had been trying to deny for months. His mother was dying.

This awareness tore his heart out, hurting every atom of his being, tearing his soul apart. He knelt beside the bed, resting his cheek on one of his mother's hands, ignoring Credence who was finishing the adjustment of the intravenous infusion, in a calm and controlled attitude. Percy let the tears roll down his cheeks, watching, helplessly, Louise fall into a sleep that only drugs could provide. He barely noticed when the youngest one left the room, and it wasn't until much later, when he forced his legs to move, that he realized that he was alone in the room, plunged in darkness, with his mother.

He returned to the first floor, his mind fogged with sorrow and suffering, dragging himself down the stairs. Louise was going to leave, she was going to leave and never come back, and he was going to be alone. Entirely, completely, definitely alone.

It had been dark for a while outside, and he looked at it through the living room window, not turning on the light, letting the tears flow without being able to hold them back. Not really knowing why, he opened the liquor cabinet, the one his father kept safely closed when he was a child. Seraphina would surely be furiously angry with him if she saw him, but Sera was not there. So Percy took out the bottle of whiskey and started to drink from the neck of the bottle. He felt pathetic, miserable, but most of all lost and helpless.

He leaned against the wall, slipping down before he found himself sitting on the cold floor. He was in pain, so much so that he almost wanted to tear his heart out to free himself from the suffering and the guilt. He had spent far too much time running away from his parents, and now he was going to be an orphan. The alcohol burned his throat as much as the tears burned his tired eyes.

He would have been unable to say how long he had been sitting there, prostrate in a corner of the living room, drinking, dwelling on his mistakes and memories. It was the voice of Credence that brought him out of his depressive lethargy.

"What are you doing in the dark? "

Graves gave him an evil look, which the younger one certainly could not distinguish in the dark. His arms were loaded with shopping bags. Good God, this man was a real robot! Louise was having a terrible seizure, and the first thing he did, instead of crying like a normal person, was to stick to his schedule and go out and do some fucking groceries.

"Can't you tell? " Percival asked dryly, before taking another sip of whiskey.

Credence put the bags on the coffee table, then walked around it and approached Percy. He reached out his hand to him, visibly trying to take the bottle of alcohol from him, but Percival pushed him away by slapping his wrist, giving a cold: 

"Fuck you, stop acting like a fucking angel! "

The younger one stood up, looked at him for a few moments with this neutral and impassive look, before turning away from him to go turn on the light. The change in luminosity immediately gave him a headache, which alcohol certainly wasn't going to help. In an almost relaxed voice, Credence said:

"Are you hungry? I'm hungry and it would be better for Louise to eat something. "

Graves had a bad laugh. He wanted to be hurtful, and he didn't really know why. Maybe just so that Credence would finally have a reaction, so that he would feel less alone in his suffering, so that he would have someone to answer his grief.

"Louise? " he repeated. "Why don't you just say "Mom"? Is it too hard for you? "

Credence went to the shopping bags. He bent down to take a quick look at their contents before straightening up, closing his eyes and saying in a calm voice:

"We don't have to do this to each other, Percival. She's going to get better, she's getting better, we have to keep hoping. "

What alternative reality was he living in? She wasn't getting better! It was getting worse and worse, her health was decreasing day by day!

"Oh, really?" the older one asked dryly.

"Yes, we have to. "

"Do we? And how am I supposed to do that. Enlighten me, Credence. "

He took another sip of whiskey, hoping to swallow the ball of rage and sorrow that was at the back of his throat. The younger one put his big black eyes on him, and Percy recognized the same glow as when he had ordered a burger for Louise. Credence clenched his jaw, quickly approaching him.

"Stop drinking that shit!" he asserted, trying to take the bottle out of his hands again.

Percival pushed him away more abruptly.

"Fuck you! "

He got back on his feet awkwardly, staggering visibly, leaning against the wall behind him to find balance. _Pathetic..._ he thought. And that's certainly what Credence must have been thinking in front of him.

"You know how much she needs help, and how important it is that you're sober! " the younger one reproached him.

"My mother is dying upstairs, so I don't need your blessing. I'll drink what I want to drink!"

Credence backed away, as if Percival had just slapped him. He stared at him for a few moments before walking away to go back to his purchases. A muffled sob passed Percy's lips. He no longer wanted this exemplary calm, he no longer wanted this impassivity, he wanted a human being, someone with whom he could at least share his love for Louise. Why was Credence so inaccessible? Why was he so closed? Why was he unable to cry or scream like him? Was he the one who was wrong?

"Credence... It's getting worse... You can't keep believing otherwise. "

The younger one clenched his fists, and suddenly, in a blink of an eye, his whole body seemed tense, as if he was trying to contain a growing anger. He closed his eyes, clenched his teeth, before saying in a scathing tone and without looking at Percival:

"No one can force me to do anything, you would know that if you deigned to spend more than 5 minutes in the same room with me. Now, are you going to keep drinking your shit all night? "

Why was he running away from reality? How did he manage to continue acting like that, not to explode? Why did Percy suddenly need to make him react so badly?

"Do you hear what I'm saying to you? " he tried, in a voice that sounded terribly desperate.

"No! "

"No ?! " he cried, his fury burning his throat. "She's already had two cancers, she's tested every drug in the world and the doctor says the chemotherapy had no effect! She can't eat anything without vomiting half of it and she suffers day and night! She doesn't leave her bed anymore, she can barely breathe properly! You spend more time taking care of her than anyone else and it hasn't changed anything! You can't save her, Credence! "

The tears had started to run down his cheeks again and he wiped them away angrily. Credence shot him with his eyes, he looked like he was boiling inside, on the edge of flying in a million pieces. He answered, trembling with anger:

"I'm... I'm so tired of fighting, of making sure I stand up for her, of pretending that everything is all right so that she can live serenely... I'm so tired of hearing everyone telling me that I should stop, that I have to be ready, that no matter what I do, she'll leave in the end. "

Credence's voice was incisive, cruel, painful. He was furious at Percy, furious at Louise's illness, furious at the whole world. He took off his coat in a sudden and rapid movement, made shaky by anger. He opened the shopping bags and began to speak again, now shouting :

"Won't you help me take care of her? Fine! Don't you want to cook what I ask you to prepare for her? Fine, go ahead, I don't care! You'd rather sit in the dark and mope? Drink your poison, I don't care! I don't care, damn it! "

Percival remained shocked, realizing that Credence, the perfect, calm and gentle Credence had reached his breaking point and that it was he who had pushed him there. In an enraged gesture, he took boxes of food supplements out of the bags, and with violence, he threw them at Percy, who barely avoided them, shaken by the state of the youngest.

"Iron and magnesium are good for her? Who cares! " he shouted. "Wholemeal bread with all the grains of the universe for her health, but why get tired, right? "

The packet of bread crashed next to Percival's head, who stared at Credence with shocked eyes. He felt as if he had awakened what the younger one had been keeping locked in his heart for months.

"No vegetables, no fucking fruit, just your fucking wiskey and your fucking burger!" he screamed, each of his words punctuated by the throwing of one of the purchases to the face of Percival, who hardly had the time to avoid them. "Even milk is useless, so why do I care! "

And the milk bottle exploded on the wall right next to Percival's head, splashing him in the process, almost cutting off his breath because he was having trouble realizing what was happening. Credence had thrown it at him with a force that Percy didn't know he had, and it suddenly scared him. Scared that the younger one would start to hate him, to despise him. His hatred would be much harder to bear than his indifference. And it was all his fault, the fault of his selfish behavior and his ridiculous desire to finally find a weak point in the perfect shell of the youngest. In the middle of the living room, fists clenched, eyes shining with tears of rage, Credence shouted :

"Don't blame me for trying to save her just because you're too weak to do it! You want to let her die, Percy? Let her die! "

And he disappeared outside, slamming the front door behind him so hard that the windows vibrated for a few moments. Percival remained shocked, short of breath, his hands trembling. He was unable to move, simply running a hand over his face to wipe off some of the milk that had mixed with his tears. His fingers slowly spread apart, and the whiskey bottle fell to the floor, rolling to the coffee table. And just as he was finally about to leave his petrified state, the front door opened again, and a second later, Credence was against him, his arms wrapped tightly around his waist, hugging him closely, his face buried in his shoulder as he burst into tears, his body shaken with violent sobs.

"I'm sorry... "he cried. "Oh God, I'm sorry... I didn't mean it...Don’t leave me alone. "

Slowly, Percival closed his arms around him, giving him back his embrace, at first cautiously, as if he was afraid to touch him, before finally hugging him completely, allowing himself to cry as well.

"It's my fault... I'm sorry... " he apologized.

"I'm scared... I'm so scared, Percy... I don't want her to go... I can't lose her... I don't want her to go... "

Percival's heart broke a little more. Credence's desperate voice was more painful than anything he had ever heard in his life. My God, he had been so cold to him, so cruel, so convinced that his silence was hiding indifference, when in truth he was only trying to do his best by hiding his suffering.

Credence wasn't a robot, he wasn't insensitive, he just had a hard time letting go, displaying his emotions, allowing himself to release his pain, with the only aim of preserving Louise, and maybe even sparing Percy. He had given him room to cry, to scream, to fall asleep at Louise's bedside, while he swallowed his pain and sorrow, while he continued to do his best to make Mrs. Graves suffer as little as possible. His jealousy and resentment had blinded him, and now he just wanted to start all over again and ask him for forgiveness.

"I know... I know, Credence. I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... "

Credence tightened his grip a little more around his waist, and Percy put a kiss in his hair, gently caressing his back. A weight left the older man's shoulders, a weight that had suffocated him for half his life, and his head almost spun in front of that relief. He had been in so much pain, so angry at the behavior of his parents, that he had hated Credence for years, without ever really knowing him.

And he was angry at himself. Things could have been so different if he had taken the time to give Credence a little more of his time and attention. He might not have felt so lonely all those years, they would have been able to support each other when Albert died and they could have counted on each other as soon as Louise's health had deteriorated. Credence's hands suddenly grabbed his shirt on his back, as if he was afraid Percy would disappear, and the older one hugged him more tightly, closing his eyes.

There was a form of redemption in this gesture, a forgiveness granted without a word, a change begun without a movement, a turning point in their lives.

They stayed like this for a long time, long after the younger one's cries had been completely soothed, leaving only a nervous start and silent tears, long after Percy's eyes were no longer able to weep. And it was Mary Goldstein's voice that brought them back to reality:

"What has happened here? "


	2. Things you feel, things you fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A long chapter ^^ I hope you like it <3

Despite Louise's health, things did improve in some ways. It had become so much easier to live in the same house with Credence. There was no longer this oppressive tension, this almost tangible duality between the two men. The anger and resentment had given way to a much lighter feeling, something approaching the serenity of mutual respect. It was also a recognition that they were both there for Louise, that they loved her and that they were doing everything they could to make her, if not happy, then at least at peace.

And if the nickname "cricket" had always been used in a negative way, now Percival pronounced it differently, a vibration in the intonation that made it lighter, more joyful, more childlike too, and Credence never reproached him for calling him like that. The unspoken agreement to never cross paths was gradually forgotten, and soon it was as if it had never existed. Sometimes the two of them would find themselves together at Louise's bedside, or cooking together (even if it consisted mostly of Percival cutting the vegetables and Credence taking care of everything else) or even reading on their own in the living room, all of that in an almost total silence, but with nothing heavy or uncomfortable about it.

Credence was an incredibly calm person who managed to maintain a measured attitude in all circumstances. But sometimes he would let a tear roll down his cheek, and if Percy saw it, he was careful not to point it out to him.

They had never talked about their argument, preferring to leave behind them the incident that had brought them , if not closer, at least allowed them to live together without prejudice or resentment. After Mary's arrival that evening, they had simply detached from each other to tidy and clean the living room as if nothing had happened. Mrs. Goldstein had not insisted, especially in front of their red eyes and wet cheeks.

Louise had ups and downs, and tragically, many more downs than ups. Some days were horrible, seemed interminable in their suffering. And on those days, Percival found it very hard not to shed tears, shaken by his sobs, before spending the night sleeping, cowering beside his mother's bed, his head resting on the mattress next to her hand.

Some mornings he would wake up before Louise and lay his eyes on her face soothed in sleep, other times not and he would be brought back to the present by his mother's delicate fingers in his hair. Other times he would have a plaid on his shoulders, and other times Credence would be in the same position as him on the other side of the bed. Sometimes it was Percy who put a blanket on the youngest's shoulders, and sometimes, and these mornings were his favorites, he was awakened by the soft melody of the piano in the living room. He would raise his irises to discover the smiling face of his mother as she gently left the world of dreams.

That was Credence too, a few notes on a piano, a crystalline melody, a feather or a petal placed on a wound whose suffering seemed beyond words. And this awareness, which was slowly imposing itself on Graves, reassured him just as it frightened him.

The days when Louise was well were both the easiest and the hardest to bear. The easiest because they allowed Percy to share good times with her, to see her smile, sometimes laugh, to hear her sweet voice humming songs. And the hardest because they kept reminding Graves that those happy moments would soon come to an end, that the inevitable would happen and he didn't have the power to stop it.

Percival continued to run morning and night, to clear his mind and atone for his suffering. Credence allowed himself dance sessions in the living room or in the garden (because, in addition to the piano, the cricket had done no less than 10 years of modern-jazz dance), freeing himself in fluid and elegant movements that seemed to soothe his body and mind. And while Percy often (perhaps too often) allowed himself to observe him, Credence never blamed him, and simply ended up raising his shining eyes towards him.

Percival felt like he was discovering this young man for the first time, as if they hadn't crossed paths and hated each other all these years. He wasn't sure that the grudge had been shared during those 17 years...

April arrived and with it the sunniest and most colorful days. Percival took care to buy and install a comfortable place for his mother in the garden, with a multitude of cushions and blankets. On sunny days, with the help of Credence, he installed her in the middle of her flowers that she loved so much and that Mary continued to take care of. On those afternoons, Percy would read to Louise, taking the time to rediscover his mother's favorite books with her. Credence would simply sit in a chair to Louise's right, taking her fingers between his at regular intervals to place a light kiss on her knuckles.

Albus continued to come regularly, having made it a habit of spending every other morning to check on Mrs. Graves. He always did his best not to discourage Credence, but Percy could see in his eyes, every time the doctor turned to him, that things were not getting better. He always offered Louise the possibility of being hospitalized, but she stubbornly refused, adding, when she thought her sons didn't hear her, that a hospitalization would not change anything at her next destination. They had to live with it, to enjoy every moment, to allow themself to laugh sometimes, to hum music that Louise loved, to find comfort in the tender gestures she had for them, in the benevolent look she had on their faces. They had to savor what one day would be obscured by absence.

Sitting at his mother's bedside, Percy closed the book he had just finished. He didn't really know what to think of the ending. It wasn't particularly sad, but to know that the two main characters didn't end up together, even though they loved each other, really left him puzzled. After a sigh, he put the book on the bedside table. His mother was sleeping peacefully. Percy bent down to take her hand between his own and kissed it. He looked at her for a long time, a sad smile on his lips. It didn't matter that she was sick, that she looked exhausted, she would still be the most beautiful woman in the world to him.

Without a sound, Percival stood up, approaching one of the shelves, looking distractedly at the photos placed there. One of them caught his eye. It was a little behind the others, and Percy took it in his hands. He frowned as he saw the entire image.

He was 18 years old in this picture, dressed in his graduation suit. He wasn't looking at the lens, his head turned to the side, a confused expression on his face. Next to him, his hair tousled in all directions, his eyes shining with joy, Credence was smiling. He was incredibly young, it was only two years after his arrival, one of his hands grasped Percival's clothing tightly, and in his other hand he proudly held the older one' s graduation hat.

Graves had no recollection of this photo, let alone that moment. He didn't even remember that Credence had attended his graduation. The memories he had left from that day were mainly those with Sera and Theo.

"What are you looking at, my baby? "

Louise's sleepy voice almost startled him. He turned towards her, his eyes constantly returning to the photo.

"I... I don't remember this picture at all. " he confessed.

"Let me see it. " she asked, reaching out a hand to him.

He approached, sitting on the edge of the bed. Louise got up to sit with the support of her son and Percival helped her put the cushions properly in her back before holding the frame out to her. A huge smile appeared on her face as soon as she recognized the picture.

"Oh yes, it was the day of your graduation. "

Her delicate fingers stroked the picture as Percy sat beside her and looked at the image with her. Louise seemed moved, as if that moment frozen in the frame had really made an impression on her, as if the emotion felt was still alive.

"I don't remember that moment at all," Percival repeated. "I remember the rest of the day and the evening at Theseus, but not that. Credence seems... "

He didn't really know what adjective to give, so he let the end of his sentence die at the edge of his lips. Louise turned her eyes to him.

"Happy? " his mother suggested.

"No, it's more than that. It looks like he's found the holy grail. " he joked.

Louise laughed, passing her thumb over the smiling face of the youngest. She had a little sigh before saying in a tender voice:

"He was over the moon when you gave him this hat. He was so fascinated by you at that time. "

Graves frowned. As far as he could remember, Credence had barely spoken to him, doing his activities in his corner under the gaze of his parents while he went up to his room to work and cry in silence. In his memories, Credence barely paid any attention to him and spoke to him as little as possible, as if Percy's presence didn't matter. This sentence left him more perplexed than the end of the novel he had just finished.

"Fascinated? What do you mean? " he asked.

Louise thought for a few moments, looking for the right words, gazing carefully at the picture before telling : 

"He wasn't yet ten years old, and by golly, he talked about you all the time. And I'm not lying, when I say all the time, it was really all the time. Whenever you weren't at home, actually. I remember your father used to tell him that by incanting you he would end up making you appear everywhere. You were beautiful, you were smart, you were strong, you were magic, you knew everything, you had all the knowledge in the world, you knew everything better than anyone else and you were able to defeat all the bad guys in the world! What did he call you ? Oh yes! "Percy the brave". "

She had a little laugh, as if she saw the little black-haired boy again in front of her, as if she was on the other side of the camera again taking this picture. Graves was more than surprised to learn this. Had he really been so blind? Had he been too focused on his suffering to notice Credence's amazed eyes? No, his mother must have been exaggerating.

"I never realized it. " He said

Louise had a little grimace, then she shook her head before turning to her son to explain to him in a serious tone:

"No, because Credence was terrified to speak in front of you. He talked about you all day long, and then when you came home, he would close up like a shell. His psychiatrist had explained to me that he had for you... What was the word again? Ah, yes! An emotional reference point. "

He was more and more confused. He felt like he had forgotten two years of his life, two years before he fled to the other side of the planet to protect himself from the magnificence of Credence and the adoration his parents had for this perfect little boy. He frowned before he asked:

"An emotional reference point? What do you mean exactly? "

"He was focusing on you all the emotions he was feeling because he was having too much trouble dealing with them, too much trouble realizing what this... this horrible woman had put him through. So when he was angry, it was because you weren't well or because you weren't at home. When he was sad, it was because you were sad or because he wanted you to come home. When he was happy it was because you were nice to him, because you talked to him. He was... fascinated by you, I don't have another word for it. You were his reference, his evidence, and when he was asked what he wanted to do when he is older, he always answered: "Like Percy". Like Percy for just about everything, actually. "

Graves couldn't believe her, it was as if she was describing another little boy, a child he hadn't met, a child he hadn't lived with. But his mother seemed so sincere that he could hardly question her word.

"But he... He never spoke to me... He pretended I didn't exist. "

"I know..." she sighed, her eyes returning to the photo. "His psychiatrist said it was because he was afraid of rejection, he was afraid that he couldn't measure up, that you would push him away or despise him. And now... now that I think about it, I think he kept that distance also to protect you, maybe because he was the only one who saw that you were suffering and he didn't want to "parasitize" your emotional space. "

And God, that was hard to hear. A painful ball formed at the back of his throat and he swallowed with difficulty, blinking several times to chase away the nascent tears. Had he really pushed away during all these years a being capable of making him the center of his universe and his feelings? It was both unthinkable and at the same time tragically logical. The argument they had had was a perfect example: Credence put Graves' anger and grief ahead of his own, and when he exploded, he was the first to come and apologize, to ask for forgiveness.

"You were busy preparing for your departure to England with Sera and Theseus that year. It's not a reproach at all, my baby, it was normal. And besides, eight years apart is a lot at that age. " his mother added.

She laid her eyes on him again and, in front of the emotion she must have read on his face, she drew him towards her to put a kiss on his temple before caressing his hair.

"Yes, I suppose... " he murmured.

Because he didn't know what to say and wasn't sure how he should feel. He stared at the photograph again, lingering on the happy face of the younger one. This image was sadly representative of the two years they had lived together before he left: Credence at his side, radiant, and him looking away, unable to look at the younger one.

So that was their truth: Credence who adored him in silence while he only turned away from him so as not to be blinded by his light? It almost hurt him to think that, to see that he had hated him for so many years when he didn't really know him. That he didn't know him at all, in fact. He knew his studies, his age, his activities, the city where he lived, but he didn't know him at all. Credence was a mystery. Louise's sweet voice finally took him out of his thoughts and said with a smile:

"He still has it, you know. Your graduation hat, it's in his room, next to his. "

* * *

And from then on, nothing could remain as it was before. Unintentionally, Percival sought to unravel the mystery that surrounded Credence. He didn't observe him per se, because that would have been strange and he wasn't a stalker (at least he hoped he wasn't), but he paid attention to the way he put his black curls back behind his ears, to his slender fingers turning the pages of his books, to the habit he had of making a shoulder movement before starting to cook, to the fact that he would bite his lower lip and frown when he thought, to the quick dance stretches of incomparable elegance he did when he sat too long, and especially to the pink that rose to his cheeks when he noticed Graves' eyes on him.

And it was in these details, these little everyday things, that Percival found the most upheaval. He couldn't understand the urge to smile when he saw Credence dancing, he couldn't stand his heart racing when he was close enough to him for their shoulders to touch when they were cooking, and he hated the fact that his mind, even late at night sometimes, was constantly returning to the person he had been running away from for half his life.

He breathed in another puff of nicotine, tapping his foot in the grass in the garden, swearing at the whole world, but mostly at himself. The sun was about to set in the distance, and yet he felt like he wouldn't sleep that night either. Louise was already asleep in her bedroom upstairs and Percy allowed himself a moment outside before returning to her bedside.

"It looks good on you. "

He suddenly jumped and turned back to Credence who was right behind him, obviously sorry he had scared him. Usually it was Percy who startled the younger one. Every time he didn't make enough noise before speaking, in fact. And he had been anxious about this for several weeks. He was afraid to find out that this fear was due to something he had done to the younger one and that he didn't remember. Something that would have justified the fact that he felt so miserable in front of Credence. When he had told Sera about it, she had simply told him that these jumps might have been due to unconscious fears related to his childhood or something else, but that he didn't have to feel guilty about something he hadn't done. " _Percy, you couldn't hurt a fly, how could you possibly have done anything to him?_ " his best friend had sighed.

And those words had awakened a new feeling in Percival's heart: a feeling that confronted him with his absence, with the fact that he had failed to protect Credence, to help him, to be his support, to stand up for him,. And that terrified him.

Percy put one hand over his face before pulling his cigarette again and simply replied: 

"What does? "

Credence approached to stand right next to him, staring at the flowers a little further away, blushing slightly.

"Your hair. " he said. "When you... when you don't use styling gel... It looks good on you. At least I think so. It's good with it too, of course, but... Well, I think it suits you. "

He seemed uncomfortable and frustrated not being able to express himself more clearly in front of the older one. Credence sighed before putting his hands into the pockets of his jeans, biting his lower lip. And for the first time, Percival found him adorable, and saying that it made him panic inside was an understatement.

"Thank you" he whispered.

They remained silent for a long time, Graves continuing to smoke and Credence swinging back and forth on his heels. Then the younger one cleared his throat before saying in an uncertain tone:

"So... we don't hate each other anymore? "

Percy looked at him again, surprised, but Credence openly avoided his eyes, his cheekbones redder than before.

"We hated each other? " Percival asked.

The younger one finally turned towards him, raising an eyebrow before saying in a disappointed pout :

"Percy, I'm not stupid, at least give me that... "

"I never thought you were stupid... It's quite the opposite actually. I thought you were too perfect." He confessed.

Credence had a dry laugh. It wasn't against Percival, rather against what he had said. He shook his head before gazing at him once more and saying:

"I am not perfect. "

"I'm not so sure about that. "

It had passed his lips before he could hold that sentence back. It was his turn to blush and avert his eyes, eagerly smoking the end of his cigarette before lighting up a second. He expected Credence to leave him alone, but against all expectations, he said in a trembling voice :

"I never... I didn't... I never wanted... I didn't want to steal your parents from you. I was young and I didn't realize what was going on. I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry. "

Percy's heart suddenly tightened, and he didn't know what to do with this strange feeling that was fluttering in his belly. Credence had nothing to apologize for, nothing to blame himself for, but the fact that he did, the fact that he put Percival first, that he so openly acknowledged what Graves had taken years to express in his mind, destabilized him and moved him beyond what he thought possible.

"Credence, I... "

"Don't say you're not mad at me. " He interrupted him. "I know that's why you hate me. That's why you hated me... "

He seemed so sad when he said this that Percival felt more guilty. So the grudge had been one-sided and he had fueled his anger towards Credence alone, which the younger one had let run down on his skin without ever allowing himself to express his emotions in front of Percy.

"In fact... In fact, I was mostly angry at the parents, and it was directed at you. " Percival confessed. "The truth is, I don't really know you. "

Credence laughed again, with a sincere and happy laugh this time, and Graves tried to kill the butterflies that the sound awakened in his guts. The young man put his dark irises on him and said with a smile (and God, that smile...):

"If you knew me, you wouldn't even bother to talk to me. "

"Why do you say that?" he asked, frowning.

"Because you hate disorder and chaos, and for you artists are the paroxysm of that. And I love dance and piano, so…"

Percival was largely destabilized by this sentence and his shocked look pushed the youngest to blush again. Credence placed a brown lock behind his ear, biting his lip once more. Graves narrowed his eyes before saying:

"How do you know that? "

"I've read your interviews..." Credence confessed softly, lowering his eyes to the floor.

Graves was more and more confused. He took a big breath of nicotine from his cigarette to give himself the courage to ask:

"My interviews? "

Credence inhaled deeply, straightening himself up to give himself some composure before answering, looking embarrassed and begging:

"Okay, don't make fun of me, and don't think I'm a stalker, that's not it at all, okay? "

Percy bit the inside of his cheek so he wouldn't laugh. Credence was so cute.

"Okay... " he whispered.

After another inspiration, Credence turned entirely to him to explain, his hands accompanying his words with nervous gestures:

"Inside, I really hoped that one day you and I would get along, so I... I've been following your entire career. I've read your interviews, your lectures, the articles that were written about you. It made me feel like I was getting to know you, you know? I thought that if one day you would agree to talk to me, I would be able to avoid behaving like a complete stranger. "

His breath got stuck in his lungs. Did he hear correctly or was he hallucinating? And damn it, those damn butterflies that couldn't stay in place and that ridiculous heart jumping around! He must have looked completely shocked because Credence whispered:

"What? "

He had been so selfish, so self-centered. That kind of idea had never occurred to him, and he suddenly felt ridiculous not knowing anything about the man his mother had raised. Percy shook his head to put his thoughts straight before answering:

"Nothing, I... Can I know something about you? "

Credence seemed astonished, but the surprise soon gave way to an expression of heartfelt joy, as if he had waited all his life for Percival to ask him that. And perhaps that was sadly the case.

"What would you like to know? "

"What you like, who you are, that sort of thing... "

The youngest one thinks for a few moments about the answer he was going to give before a sweet smile appears on his lips and he said :

"I love cooking, dancing and playing the piano. I'm rather calm and reserved by nature, I don't like parties or noise in general. I have a soft spot for animals that nobody wants, if I listened to myself there would be three-legged cats and blind dogs all over the garden. I'm a nurse, I'm very concerned about health and nutrition." Percy easily noticed the cornered look he gave to his cigarette and in a somewhat stupid reflex he put it out. "I don't have a favorite music or movie, but I hate horror movies. I turned 25 last November, but you know that... I think... It doesn't matter. I lived in Chicago before I came back here. And I could give my life for Tina or Queenie, they're my favorite people in the universe with Louise and... uh... It doesn't matter either." he finally mumbled with a vague hand gesture. 

"A boyfriend? "

Good God, of all the questions in the universe, why did he choose this one _? You're ridiculous, Graves, you're wicked, you're a weirdo_ , he thought. He felt the warmth rise to his cheeks and turned away from Credence to hide his trouble, tapping his foot in the grass again like a child. He thought the younger one was going to make fun of him, but in a weak and insecure voice he said :

"No... No, not anymore. You? "

Percy had a small laugh, both amused by the question and relieved by Credence's reaction.

"Dramatically single. " he smiled. "Sera tries to set me up with half of New York, but I guess I'm still a bit of a naive kid waiting for love at first sight. "

Credence didn't mock him, he didn't take the sentence as a joke. Instead of laughing, he gave Graves an unreadable look that sent a shiver up his spine. It was intense, heavy, strong, reassuring and frightening at the same time. And in the blink of an eye, it was gone and Credence's calm expression had returned.

"I'm glad we can talk, Percy. " he said.

"So am I. " He confessed, realizing as he said it how true it was.

"I think it will make Louise happy. "

This sent Percival back to why he was in front of Credence tonight. For Louise, for their mother, to make her happy and to finally offer her the happiness of seeing her children get along. He blamed himself for having left this truth in parenthesis during this discussion with Credence. He had to go back up to her room, make sure that her pillows were well put, that she needed nothing, and contemplate her for long minutes, perhaps hours, before falling asleep on the chair beside her.

He was about to walk away and return home when Credence's voice was heard again: 

"Can I ask you something? "

"Anything. "

The rapidity with which he answered this frightened him terribly. Credence looked up at him with bright eyes and gazed at Percy's tired face for a long time, as if he needed to remember every detail, before asking, with tears at the edge of his eyes:

"Would you take me in your arms? "

Graves froze for a few moments, trying to cowardly escape his desire to hold Credence against him again. It was too hard, too complicated, too dangerous. He wanted to kill his eyes that shuttled between the gaze and the lips of the youngest, to suffocate his heart, to drown feelings and emotions. The younger one was seeking brotherly comfort, and all he had to offer him was hands trembling with apprehension as his mind was lost for a split second in contemplating a possible kiss.

As he did not move, Credence walked towards him and put his arms around his waist, as he had done the night of the argument. He put his cheek on his shoulder and waited patiently for Percival to return his embrace. And he did so, closing his eyes, caressing the youngest's black curls as he sighed with relief, tightening his grip around his waist. 

"Thank you. " he murmured.

And the world could have ended tonight, that Percy probably wouldn't have noticed.

* * *

The month of May arrived far too quickly. And despite everything he was doing to accept the situation, Percival refused to acknowledge that it had already been six months since he had been back, already a year since his mother had been ill, and almost two months since he had come closer to Credence. He refused to see this because it reminded him of how short the time was and how fast it was going by. Louise wasn't getting better, she wouldn't get better, and despite all of Credence's efforts and determination to keep her healthy, her face was increasingly revealing sickness and exhaustion. It was like trying to hold fine sand between his fingers, even with the most devoted of wills, life was slipping away from her, and there was nothing the young nurse could do about it.

Percy had just finished putting away groceries when his phone vibrated on the kitchen table. It was a video call from Seraphina. He had completely forgotten to call her back since the last time. Credence was busy upstairs with Louise, and after a quick glance at the stairs, Percival went out into the garden to pick up the phone. The happy face of his best friend appeared at once, quickly joined by Theo, who seemed relieved to see him. They were both in their living room, sitting on the large sofa that Percival had carried with Theseus on the day they moved in.

"Percy joli!" she exclaimed joyfully.

"Hi!" he smiled.

"What's new? How are you doing? How's Louise? " she asked.

Percival had a slight grimace accompanied by a sigh. The month of April had been incredibly complicated, and without the support of Mary, Tina and Queenie who often came by, and without the presence of Credence, he wasn't sure he would have made it through. Albus now came every day, claiming that the house was on his way to his office, when everyone knew that it wasn't. He had given up the idea of proposing hospitalization to Louise, now simply raising a sorry look at Percy and Credence at the end of each consultation, a look that the younger one always ignored.

"It's getting harder and harder, so we enjoy every day that life offers us. " he sadly admited.

His friends nodded, not really knowing what to say but sharing his pain and suffering. After a short silence, Theseus asked:

"Things got a little better with the cricket? "

He hadn't confided in his friends at all on this subject, too busy with what this reconciliation meant for him. Without being able to hold him back, a slight smile appeared on his lips as he replied: 

"Yes, yes, everything is fine with Credence. "

Seraphina straightened up suddenly, as if Percy's sentence had shocked her. She stared at her friend for several seconds before turning to Theseus, who seemed as perplexed as Graves at her reaction.

"Did you hear what I heard? " she asked.

"What?" Theo replied, frowning.

Sera leaned back towards her phone, which was on the coffee table in front of them.

"Repeat your last sentence, Percy. "

"Why? " he wondered, more and more confused.

"Repeat it, Percy, that's an order! "

Her tone was bossy, and Percival knew that tone well. It was the tone she took when she assumed the role of the big sister with him and was about to reprimand him for something. But he hadn't said anything strange, had he? Unsure, Percy just repeated:

"Everything is fine with Credence. "

She turned to Theseus again, exclaiming:

"Here! Right there! Did you hear that? "

Theo sighed before putting a hand over his face, as if he realized what Seraphina wanted to show him and that he was about to face a storm.

"Heard what, damn it?" Percival raved, annoyed to be left out.

"Your fondness accent!" Sera replied, visibly unhappy.

What was she talking about? Sometimes it was really hard for him to follow her thought process.

"My what? "

"Your intonation when you say the name of someone you like! Damn it Percy, you've been doing this since we were kids, you have this way of dragging one of the vowels around when you have a crush on someone! It's not ok with Credence: you like him! "

She seemed worried and angry at the same time. Angry that he lets himself be so vulnerable, angry that he puts himself in danger, angry that he's so quick to forget 17 years of suffering in favor of a smile and a few brown curls. But she didn't understand, she couldn't understand. And she was wrong about everything! He didn't have a crush on Credence, that would have been completely stupid and reckless.

"That's bullshit! I don't have a "fondness" accent. "

"My God, you don't even deny it! " she got angry, pushing Theo away as he tried to put a soothing hand on her shoulder. "Percival, no! Damn it, not him! Not in this context, not with everything you've suffered all these years! "

"I don't have a crush on Credence! " he replied dryly.

He hadn't allowed himself to feel that kind of thing, it would have been far too dangerous. And he wasn't so stupid as to fall completely for the cricket. At least, he was trying to convince himself of that...

"Look me in the eye and swear to me that you didn't even consider kissing him!" She said, giving him a look that challenged him to try to lie to her.

Lying to Sera was a very, very bad idea. Not only because Percival was a bad liar in general, but also because his best friend read him like an open book. And that would make her really angry, and that was something Percy absolutely didn't want. He blushed softly, looking down at his feet to escape his friends' eyes, scratching his neck and biting his lower lip before stammering :

"Well, in fact... In fact, what happened... "

"I knew it! " she cut him off abruptly. "Percival, for God's sake, why are you doing this to yourself! Wasn't there enough chaos in your life for you to fall under the spell of the kid your mother took in and made you feel like shit for years? Not him, Percy, for Christ's sake! "

And it awakened something in him, something he had never felt before: a desire to defend Credence. No one could speak ill of Credence, because Credence was perfect, and the thought of hearing someone speak badly of him now made him nauseous when he himself had done so for so long. He was more angry to hear Sera say that he had been unhappy because of Credence than because she was obviously making Graves look like a child or a moron (maybe both).

"Stop shouting! Do you think this is something I can control? Why are you coming to me to give me advice when you can't deal with the shit that's going on between you! "

Seraphina moved backwards, as if Percy had slapped her. Graves immediately blamed himself for what he had said. He put a hand over his face, regretting that he hadn't thought about it before attacking his best friends on such a sensitive subject. Theo tenderly caressed Sera's arm, visibly more concerned about the impact that Percival's sentence had had on her than what it implied for him.

His best friend looked away, a hand over her mouth to hide the fact that she was trying to hold back her tears. She only wanted to protect him, to make him understand that he was putting himself in danger, and he sent her away, reminding her that she and Theseus were still unable to recognize their relationship. It was anything but subtle and it was selfish.

"I'm sorry. " Percy apologized. "I'm sorry, and you're right, this is crazy. That's why nothing is going to happen between me and him. It would be far too risky and complicated. Firstly, because I have no desire to upset my mother, secondly, because all those around us might think I'm a creepy pervert, and lastly and most importantly: because he doesn't like me anyway. "

Sera had a sad laugh, as if she knew something he didn't, before she said dryly :

"Are you sure about this? "

"Yes, he just sees me as " _the big brother he never had._ ""

And it was better that way. Percival really didn't know how he would have reacted if Credence had behaved differently with him and he preferred not to think about it. _You're bad, you're disgusting, you're wrong..._

"If you say so..." she sighed, obviously still upset.

He had been wrong to attack her on this, especially knowing that she had only said all that to make him open his eyes. That's what she'd always done: watch over Percy and tell him straight out when he was doing things wrong. And venturing down the dangerous path of an attraction to Credence was definitely doing things wrong. He knew it, Sera knew it, Theseus knew it, the whole world knew it, and even the President of the United States knew it because it was so ridiculous.

"I'm sorry I got angry. Do you forgive me? " he asked, his eyes pleading.

He knew that Sera would not be able to resist his look of a beaten dog. She had a little smile, the one that announced she was about to turn the page, and then she asked:

"That depends, what do you propose in exchange? "

"A box from the Belgian chocolate factory? " he proudly offered.

"Okay, you're forgiven, Percy joli. " she smiled sincerely.

Theseus raised his eyes to heaven, before saying:

"This is a fraud. I forgive you for free. "

"Thank you Theo. "

His best friend opened his mouth to speak but at the same time the door behind Percival opened and he heard the voice of Credence asking him:

"Percy, where did you put the avocados? "

What the hell was that shiver? Under the observant gaze of his two friends, he turned towards the younger one. Credence was wearing a gray silk shirt tucked in at the waist in black pants, bringing out the beauty of his pale skin. Uh... What was the question again?

"Uh, in the fridge I think, isn't that where I was supposed to put them? "

Credence had a small amused laugh, and Percy's heart took the opportunity to jump up and down. If none of his organs were helping him, he was really in a bad way: between his heart dancing rumba, his lungs running out of air and his stomach turning into a hummingbird cage, he was really not helped. "

"No, avocados don't go in the fridge. " Credence laughed tenderly. "But that's okay. "

"Sorry Cricket. "

Credence made a small gesture with his hand, to let him know that there was no harm done.

"No worries, Percy. Want me to order you a taco for a change? "

The proposal was interesting and tempting, and the simple fact that Credence suggested he eat something else because he knew Percy could get tired of vegetables warmed his heart. It was sweet, like the hugs the younger one had been asking him for the past few weeks, and that was probably the most frightening part of it.

"Uh... Uh no, the vegetable salad suits me very well. " he replied.

"Sure?" he insisted with the most adorable smile Graves had ever seen.

And how could he say no to a face like that? Credence could have told him that they were going to eat chicken broth for the rest of their lives that Percival wouldn't have dared to upset him, if only so that he could see that expression again.

How could that smile have upset him all these years? Was it because it had never been addressed to him before? Was it because he found it so hard to bear this neutral and emotionless expression that Credence had for him, when he could smile like that to Louise, Albert or his friends? Graves swallowed with difficulty before saying in an insecure voice :

"Sure, Cricket. "

"Ok!" he replied joyfully, trotting back inside the house.

Percy watched him walk away, his hands trembling, his heart beating fast, and tragically aware that Sera was right about his crush and that he was going to have all the misery in the world ignoring it. How could he recover from Credence? How could he be forgotten or ignored? How did one recover from the burning when one lived so close to a star?

Graves turned his attention to the phone and discovered on his screen Theo's mocking face and Seraphina's desperate expression, leaning against the back of her sofa, her arms folded across her chest.

"What? " he asked.

"I didn't say anything!" Theo defended himself, raising his hands in a sign of innocence.

"No, but I see your faces, there!" Percy sighed.

There was a short silence during which his best friend seemed to think about what she was going to say. Shouting at Percy had been useless, and he himself was not sure he could bear the slightest comment about Credence, even if it was said calmly. Then after a long sigh, as if she was resigned, she said in a serious tone:

"Percy, please be careful... You know how fast you can fall. "

Yes, he knew, and that was what terrified him when he found himself facing the bright face of the youngest. He was so fucked up...

"I know... I know, and I promise you that won't happen. "

"Promise, don't swear, I know you too well... "

"I'll be careful, Sera. " He promised

And God that this promise was going to be difficult to keep and yet indispensable. It was about his survival, it was about his family situation, about the fact that his mother kept a good image of him. He was far too afraid that she would end up seeing how bad he was, how rotten he was, and how right she had been to privilege Credence.

That would be the most terrible and terrifying thing: that if Louise discovered his crush on the youngest, she would tell him that he was worthless and that her past indifference was justified. He was better than that, better than an attractiveness, better than a blue heart ready to fall in love with the first angel face that came along, better than his loneliness, better than the feelings that Credence awakened in him. He was better than all of this, and he was going to prove it.

* * *

In all honesty, Percival did not prove much. It was even worse than that. Every time he tried to regain a certain indifference towards Credence (resentment was unthinkable in this context), he found himself thinking about him for hours. And every time he tried to avoid or ignore him, the younger one would come up to him with bright eyes and shyly ask for a hug. God, he felt stupid, grotesque and ridiculous. Seventeen years of anger and rejection, only to sink, like the Titanic, in front of those dark irises.

What was wrong with him? Who was the idiot who was taking care of his love life? Was Cupid a sadist, or what? His last serious relationship was 6 years ago, and he had masterfully slalomed between the different one-night stands he had had, so why on earth did his heart decide to focus on the cricket? And why the hell was he still thinking about himself when he had gone out running to take his mind off it! God, it was so frustrating! And all he was afraid of was making a wrong move and his mother finding out what he was thinking.

His lungs were starting to burn, and his muscles were beginning to hurt, and reluctantly, he slowly stopped running. He leaned on his thighs to catch his breath, then, after a few minutes, he turned around to go back to his childhood home. The end of the day was still warm and the sun had been tanning his skin for some time. Unlike Credence's... _Oh, fuck, stop it! Stop it!_

When he got home, he took off his sneakers and walked into the living room where his mother and Mary were engaged in a big conversation about the care of an exotic plant he didn't know existed. He greeted them quickly, before announcing that he was going upstairs to take a shower. The cricket was in the kitchen, reorganizing the fridge, as if the perfect alignment of cucumbers that Percival had made had disturbed him in his culinary journey. Percival paid no more attention to it than that and disappeared upstairs.

The hot water did him a lot of good, relaxing his muscles and mind. He stayed in the shower a little longer than expected, letting the water wash his skin like the thoughts he was trying to bury deep inside. Sera was right, he had a gift for finding interest in what was going to make his life even more chaotic than it already was. As if his mother's condition wasn't enough, he had to add another layer. His life was really a pile of complications!

He finally came out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist so he could put on a black tank top that he hadn't worn since high school and an old pair of Bermuda shorts that must have been wondering to itself what it was still doing in his closet. And after a long sigh, he went downstairs. In the kitchen, Credence was cutting carrots. And this action shouldn't have caught his attention, he should have just walked past him as if nothing had happened and joined his mother and Mary in the living room. But the younger one had trembling hands, and the blade of the knife he was holding was dangerously close to his fingers.

Percy approached him, taking care to push one of the chairs in his path before speaking, fearing to startle Credence.

"Do you need help with the cooking? " he suggested.

Credence didn't look back at him and answered in that neutral tone, which he hadn't had for a long time:

"No, I'm fine... "

Percival squinted his eyes. His intonation was proof that no, it was not right. He didn't want to sound insistent, but he wanted to show him that he cared. Graves stood next to him, bending over a little to try to see the face hidden by the black hair.

"Is everything all right? " he inquired.

"Yes, yes it's all right. " the youngest said without looking at him.

He did not want to disturb him or do anything wrong, but he was not at all convinced by this answer. Graves walked away, stepping into the living room. Louise reached out her hand to him and Percy took it with a smile on his face. Then he crouched down beside her, and asked in a low voice:

"Is he all right? Has something happened? "

His mother had a little grimace accompanied by a sad smile. She always did this when she was about to tell bad news about her condition, and Percy's stomach contracted violently.

"Albus came by, he asked to change the dosage of my medication again, he is upset. " She explained calmly.

"Mom, you... "

"I'm fine, my baby. " She reassured him, framing his face with her cold hands. "But I know it's a lot for you. "

"We love you, Mommy, that's why we're here. " He replied, barely swallowing his tears and the sore lump at the back of his throat.

His mother had a bright smile on her face, visibly moved by her son's words. Graves tried to tell her as often as he could, as if he was afraid she wouldn't know or forget.

"Oh, I love you too, my baby. " she said before putting a kiss on his forehead.

Percival wiped a tear that had escaped on his cheek before straightening up. He looked up at the silhouette of Credence in the kitchen. He could have sat next to Mary on the couch, he could have read while waiting for the meal to be ready, he could have left the younger one in his thoughts, he could have done all that. But ignoring Credence's unhappiness was no longer part of his daily life.

Percy walked over to the stereo that proudly sat underneath the television set. He searched through the discs his mother had kept, most of which belonged to his father. He didn't really know what he was looking for, just something kitschy enough to hope, if not make people smile, at least change the cricket's mind. And he found the holy grail in a compilation of the best hits of the 80s.

He turned on the machine, entered the CD, and with a big smile and a touch of apprehension, he pressed "play", and the first notes came up. Mary and Louise burst out laughing as they recognized Rick Astley's _Never gonna give you up._ Perfect, that was the expected effect. Credence turned in his direction, a questioning expression on his face. Percival did a few rough dance moves, which were more meant to be funny than to be properly executed. The younger one stared at him, the corners of his mouth gradually stretching into a smile. Graves reached out a hand to him and invited him to come dance.

"I have to finish the meal. " Credence smiled

"Come on, Credence! " he insisted.

"Percy, the vegetables... "

"The vegetables are not going to go away! " he cut him off. "Come on, Cricket! You're the dancer, not me. "

Credence had a joyful, crystalline laugh, something like the beating of a butterfly's wings. He gave up his carrots and his knife, wiped his hands in a rag, and then walked towards Percy and took the hand that the older boy was holding out to him. And under their mother's tender and amused gaze, they began to dance.

Percival made improbable faces, playing with eyebrows, imitating the gestures of Rick Astley in the video clip, twirling Credence who laughed out loud. Louise seemed ecstatic, as if she had waited her whole life for this moment. And she probably had. There was nothing more beautiful to her than to see her two sons, happy, dancing together as if nothing else existed, as if time and sad reality had stopped.

And as he brought Credence's thin body against him, joined their hands, placed his fingers in the hollow of his back and felt the younger one rest his head on his shoulder as they continued to dance, Graves thought that for him too, there was nothing more beautiful. But for quite different reasons that were increasingly difficult to deny.

_Never gonna give you up_

_Never gonna let you down_

_Never gonna run around and desert you_

* * *

The seizures were more frequent, more violent too, and even though Percival had been there for more than six months, he still couldn't get used to his mother's suffering. It was far too hard to see and endure, and he didn't know how Credence managed it. He, who on the surface seemed much frailer than he was, was actually much stronger.

The youngest one continued to leave him alone in the hallway every time Louise twisted herself in pain, closing the door to keep him from seeing. And Graves now knew that this action was done simply to protect him, to spare him the sight of his mother's thin body convulsing on the mattress. If the first time he had felt like slapping him for this gesture, today he just wanted to hug him and say thank you.

Seraphina called at least once a week to make sure things weren't getting worse for Percy's heart, and she was a little more nervous each time, each time a little more insistent that he needed to be careful. And he always promised her that he would be careful, that he wouldn't do anything rash. But there were days when that promise was really hard to keep. Like that Tuesday, about a week before the end of May, when he and Credence were side by side taking care of dinner.

Louise slept peacefully upstairs, tired from Mary's short visit. Percival was in charge of washing the vegetables in a basin next to the sink while Credence finished the dishes so that he could have all the utensils he needed. He wore a beautiful ochre shirt and his hair was raised in a bun from which several locks were falling down. To simply say that he was handsome would not have done him justice. He was so perfect that it was almost unbearable.

In a childish and thoughtless gesture, Percy splashed him with the water on his fingers. Credence was startled, surprised, turning to him with an interrogative look. Percival bit the inside of his cheek so as not to burst out laughing, pretending to be focused on his task.

Credence went back to the dishes, frowning, slightly perplexed, and Percival splashed him again, not managing to hide a smirk this time. The younger one threw water at him too, and Percival imitated him, until neither of them was bothered by their respective tasks at all. They squabbled like children for several minutes before Credence grabbed a glass of water from the sink and spilled it on Graves' head.

He remained shocked for a moment, before a big smile took place on his lips as he announced in a falsely serious tone:

"Okay, this is war, cricket! "

Credence burst out laughing, expecting the older one to take a glass to make up for it. But doing things in a small way was not in Graves' nature. It was really not knowing him well if the younger one thought he could get away with just a glass of water on his head. Percy took the vegetables out of the basin and lifted it into his arms. Credence panicked slightly, but he could not hold back his hilarity.

"No! Percival, no, put the basin down. " He tried to back away slowly towards the living room and walked towards the garden door.

"Are you afraid?" he laughed, feigning the threat.

Graves took a step in his direction and Credence ran out into the garden, begging Percy to put the basin down while continuing to laugh out loud. Percival followed him, being careful not to splash water all over the living room. He caught up with him easily, and after grabbing him by the arm, he spilled the entire water basin on his head. Credence swore, especially because of the temperature of the liquid (and if Graves found his "fuck" incredibly sexy, he forced himself not to dwell on it). The older one exploded with laughter at Credence's wet look.

"You think it's funny, old man!" he provoked him with a smile.

Okay, he had it coming. Without thinking and with a quick gesture, Percy threw the basin on the grass, put his arms around the youngest's waist before putting him on his shoulder as if he weighed nothing and took off in quick strides towards the pool at the end of the garden.

"No! Percy, No! " Credence protested, continuing to laugh out loud.

But Graves didn't listen to him, and a second later he plunged into the pool with all his clothes on and Credence in his arms. The water was nice of course, but it was especially being able to have fun with the younger one that did him a lot of good. It was a childish interlude in their sad and suffering daily life. And it seemed so real, so good, so spontaneous. All of a sudden, Percy didn't know why he had resented Credence so much, why he had hated him, why his attitude bothered him. He even ended up forgetting how the younger one had been behaving with him before that famous argument in March.

They played like children for long minutes, throwing water at each other, their laughter resonating around them like a sweet melody. Then suddenly, Credence threw himself on him, probably with the aim of sinking his head under water, but Percival held himself at the edge of the pool and without being able to explain it, in a clumsy gesture, they found themselves squeezed against each other. Credence had his legs and arms around Percy as he was pressed against the wall.

Suddenly it was no longer childish, and the red that rose to the youngest's cheeks only increased the tension that contracted Percival's belly. The laughter had left their mouths, far too close for it to be harmless, and a warm silence had fallen.

His brain screamed at him to flee, brandishing a flashing neon sign: **_be careful_**. But his heart was pounding in a disordered whirl and his eyes couldn't help but shuttle back and forth between Credence's dilated pupils and his lips. His throat was dry and the breath was stuck in his lungs when the youngest boy made a movement towards his mouth. Percy closed his eyes, losing himself in the contact of Credence's body against his own, the softness of his breath against his face, the uncontrollable desire to surrender to him. Credence was going to kiss him.

Someone loudly cleared their throat behind them and they moved away from each other so abruptly that Graves almost hit his head on the edge of the pool. He felt himself blushing to the roots of his hair, and in front of him, Credence was even worse. Passing a hand to put his hair back in place, the younger one raised his eyes to the pretty woman who was looking at them with an amused look.

"Ah... Uh... Queenie. " He stammered, obviously not knowing where to put himself.

God bless Queenie Goldstein! Percival was about to make the biggest mistake of his miserable life. Sera was right, he had a gift for putting himself in danger and provoking chaotic situations.

The young blonde woman displayed a sincere smile, her playful look going back and forth between Credence's scarlet face and Graves' tetanized expression.

"Hi, honey. " she replied. "Percy. " She greeted him with a not-so-discreet wink.

Oh dear, she was going to mock him for centuries to come. It only remained to hope that she would not tell her sister or Mary. Not to Tina because he was almost certain she would come and murder him in his sleep, and not to Mary because if she did, Louise would know about it, and that was the last thing he wanted. The catastrophe had been narrowly averted, it was not to provoke a new one.

"Queenie. " He said, in an insecure voice.

"I brought chocolate éclairs from Jacob. But I didn't know if Louise was awake. " She explained, pointing to the pink pastry box she was holding.

"Yes... Uh... Sure, coming. " Mumbled Credence.

He came out of the pool, in a gesture of rare elegance, before leaving in the direction of the house, Queenie on his heels. He did not look at Percival once, and then disappeared inside. Graves passed a hand over his face, swearing at himself before sliding down to have his head underwater, in order to cool his thoughts. God, it was getting worse and worse, he was going to end up completely crazy...

When he got his head out of the water, Percy was a little calmer, but not totally soothed. Now there was a witness to his borderline thoughts and behaviors. After a long sigh, he left the pool and went to sit on one of the lounge chairs to dry off a bit. He took off his shirt, put it on the chair next to him, but kept his pants on. He didn't want Queenie to find him in his underwear after what had happened. He grabbed one of the books that Credence had left on the garden table (the only one that was in English by the way...). He had a really hard time concentrating on the story, his thoughts kept coming back to the pool incident, and after rereading the same sentence at least 10 times, he left the book next to his shirt on the lounge chair.

Credence did not return to the garden, and when Graves was dry enough to go back inside, he put his shirt back on before leaving the lounge chair. He noticed that the younger one had changed his clothes and had finished preparing the vegetable salad for the evening meal. Percy joined him in the kitchen and Credence gave him a shy smile. Queenie came down the stairs at this moment, and cheerfully shared how her visit had gone. Then she approached to place a loud kiss on Credence's cheek before raising her face towards Percival and saying in a tone full of subtext, playing with her eyebrows :

"Good evening, Percy! "

He was so ashamed, and his blush only made her giggle more before she trotted away, going out through the garden as she had arrived. Without giving him time to question these events (he had done enough of that already), Credence handed him the salad bowl before announcing that they would eat dinner in front of the NCIS series, as Louise had requested. It had been a while since Percival had bought a second television for his mother's room. Even though Louise liked to dine in a calm environment most of the time so that she could chat with her children, sometimes she would ask to eat in front of a show or movie.

Perfect, that would save Graves from doing something stupid or saying something foolish. He grabbed the bowl before going up to his mother's room. He and Credence set up everything for Louise to eat comfortably before starting an episode.

They were halfway through the second episode when Mrs. Graves said in a detached tone :

"Queenie told me that the water in the pool looked nice. "

And if they had wanted to be less discreet than that, it wouldn't have been possible. Credence spit out his sip of water while Percy choked on his mouthful, both blushing at a staggering speed. Louise looked at them one by one, frowning, visibly confused. 

"Did I miss something? " she asked in a small voice.

"No, Mommy. Uh... The water in the pool was... uh... very nice. " Percy finally replied, in the most awkward way.

"Yes, very refreshing... " Credence added.

Great, not at all obvious, it wasn't at all suspicious... Had Percy ever said he was in trouble? Well, he was wrong: now he was royally fucked up!

* * *

Sleeping had become more and more complicated for Percival. He was constantly awakened by his nightmares and anxieties, sometimes checking up several times a night to see if his mother was still breathing. Dark circles were accumulating under his eyes, and with the running and the diet he had had since he had arrived here, he had managed to lose a lot of weight, maybe a little too much... Stress was not helping at all, even though Credence was buying him more and more pastries at Jacob's bakery (because he was nice, not for other reasons! Percy was already having enough trouble getting him out of his mind that he was not feeding the fantasy that Credence was trying to flirt with him).

He was getting lost in his thoughts when a voice came from outside. Frowning, he left his chair, delicately detaching his fingers from his mother's ones. In a gesture made slow by fatigue and aches and pains, he walked towards the window overlooking the street. In front of their house there was a huge pickup truck that seemed to have lived many lives and that Graves had never seen. From where he was, he could see almost nothing, but he could recognize Credence's voice outside.

He didn't really know why, but his insides tightened painfully and a strange anguish came up to his lips. He had a bad feeling and a shiver slid down his spine. Without making a sound, he left Louise's room and went downstairs. From there he clearly heard Credence's voice telling the stranger to go away. But the other one obviously didn't think so, judging by his aggressive tone. Graves opened the front door to join the younger one.

"Gellert, you're leaving, now!" Credence repeated.

Graves took a few steps to get out of the shadow of the porch, advancing under the yellowish light of the street lamps. The man in front of Credence, Gellert, had almost white blond hair, pale skin and creepy eyes. He looked older than himself, not by many years, but enough to make his evil smile more marked by age than his own. He looked evil, perfidious, and Percival didn't like the way he looked at Credence at all.

"Is everything okay here? " he asked.

"Mind your own business, you piece of shit! " Gellert replied, poisonous, giving Graves a nasty look.

"I wasn't talking to you!" Percival replied, clenching his teeth so as not to get carried away by anger.

Credence turned to him, giving him an unconvincing smile. He was pale, paler than usual, and he was shaking like a leaf. He looked terrified and seemed to be trying his best to hide it. In a calm and measured voice, he replied:

"It's all right, Percy... "

No, everything was not going well, and there was no chance that he would leave him alone facing that snake head. Graves came a little closer, reaching the younger one's side when a cold and acidic laugh passed Gellert's lips.

"Percy? " he asked curtly afterwards. "Fucking hell, the Percy? The Percival Graves you were crying after when we met? The guy you were drooling over like a dog? The guy you were reading all the articles about like a fucking groupie! You're such a whore! We're barely separated, and you run over here to suck his dick! "

Graves' blood began to boil, swelling his heart with anger, and he saw red. He was furious, more furious than he had ever been. He made a movement towards the unwelcome visitor, clenching his fists.

"What did you just say?" he exclaimed.

Credence appeared in front of him, interposing himself, putting his trembling hands on his shoulders before saying:

"Percy, stay out of this, please. "

"Yes, you'd better stay out of _this_. " Gellert mocked, pointing to Credence with a wave of his hand, a carnivorous smile on his lips. "You never know where it's been. "

What the hell did that bastard want? How could Credence have fallen for a man like him? How could that asshole ever have a relationship with one of the most perfect beings on earth? His heart was beating fast in his chest, and if the youngest hadn't been between them, he would have gladly put his fist through that scumbag's head.

"You son of a... " Percy ranted.

"Gellert, you have no right to be here! " Credence cut him off. "If you don't leave right now, I'm calling the police. I won't say it again. "

And obviously Gellert had no spirit of self-preservation as he suddenly grabbed Credence by the arm, clutching his grip sharply around his slender wrist, tight enough to tear a cry of pain out of the youngest as the blond man said bluntly:

" Oh really? And what are you going to tell them? That you've come here to whore yourself out because your business in Chicago wasn't working anymore? You are mine, Credence! You're mine because nobody else wants you and your bitch ass! That's the way it's always gonna be! "

In no time at all, Percival was on him, clutching his right hand around his neck with force, raising his fist, ready to disfigure him. The stranger released Credence in surprise. No one would ever touch Credence again, no one would hurt him, not if he could stop it, and Percy had months of anger, grief, and frustration to atone for. If Gellert volunteered to be a punching bag, then he was happy to be able to do him the favor of putting the ideas back in his head with his knuckles. And God he would have done it, he was sure he would have torn his head off if Credence's imploring and frightened face had not appeared before him.

"Percival, don't do this. " he begged. "Please don't. He's not worth it. "

_He's not worth it, you're better than him, better than violence, better than this primary impulse that keeps repeating to you over and over again that you must protect what belongs to you. Show Credence that you can be master of your anger, that he will never have to be afraid of you, that he will never have to look at you with such fear. You are better than him, and he is not worth it._

Without turning his eyes away from Credence's face, to find the strength to detach himself from his opponent, Percival loosened his grip and lowered his fist. Gellert coughed before provoking him with a :

"Good dog. "

In a quick and abrupt gesture, Graves grabbed the blond man by the collar, almost lifting him off the ground before slamming him against his car. Gellert's breath was taken away, and his survival instinct finally woke up as he cast a confused and slightly frightened glance at Percival. He finally became aware of the man's anger in front of him, and of that expression of almost mad fury that made his eyes sparkle. He swallowed with difficulty, and Graves was so close to him that he could now smell the unbearable smell of alcohol on his breath. He was everything Percy despised.

"What do you... What do you... What do you want... What do you want with my boyfriend?" Gellert muttered.

Percival slammed him back against his car, taking his breath away again, ignoring the hiccups of surprise from Credence behind him. Every muscle in his body was stretched to the limit, and he had to use all his mental strength to not literally reduce the bastard to dust. How could he allow himself to call Credence that? He wasn't his boyfriend, he wasn't his anything, and the son of a bitch was going to disappear from his life forever. He had come all the way from Chicago to here, and was about to go back and disappear forever. In a cold tone, Percy replied:

"From what I heard tonight, he's not your boyfriend anymore. And I don't want anything from him except to protect him from bastards like you! Now get in your car and don't ever come back here again, and don't you dare even try to see him again! Don't even try to call him or even lay eyes on him! I swear on my life that if you come near him again, I will kill you! "

And it wasn't just a figure of speech, deep down he knew that if Gellert ever came up to him again, it would be to smash his skull on the pavement. The older one seemed to realize this as well, and when Percival finally released him, he almost ran to get back in his car and started immediately.

Once the vehicle disappeared around the corner and the tension eased a little in his shoulders, Percy turned back towards Credence. He stood a few steps behind him and gave him an indecipherable look. Then, without a word, the younger one went inside the house, leaving the door open behind him.

Graves imitated him a few moments later. He checked several times to make sure that he had locked the door before slowly walking towards the kitchen. Credence was leaning against the sink, his head sunk into his shoulders, his body agitated with silent sobs. Percival didn't know how to approach him, if he could get close to him. He did not want to impose himself, but he absolutely did not want to leave him alone.

"Don't look at me like that..." Credence whispered.

"How?" Percy replied in the same tone, moving slowly into the room and leaning against the worktop at a reasonable distance from the younger one.

Under the moonlight, he could easily see the tears rolling down Credence's cheeks. He lifted his face towards him, staring at him with his shining eyes before answering dryly:

"With pity. I feel miserable, and I already feel miserable enough in front of you. I don't need your help and I don't want your compassion. "

He was angry. He was angry because he had been afraid, because he had felt weak, unable to defend himself on his own, and Graves knew this feeling too well not to recognize it. Credence looked away, visibly to avoid the older man's dark irises. They remained silent for a moment, and then Percy put his eyes on Credence's wrist and his heart clenched tightly. Even though it was dark, he could clearly distinguish the mark of Gellert's fingers on his pale skin. The bastard had squeezed so tightly that the mark was already an alarming purple-blue.

"Can I see your wrist? " he asked, making a movement in his direction.

"No, you can't. You can't see it. " the younger one immediately answered, pulling on his sleeve to hide his wound.

But this simple gesture drew a grimace and he closed his eyes, biting his lower lip to hide his pain.

"Credence... " he murmured, coming a little closer.

Percival was afraid to make him run away, but instead, Credence reached out his arm in his direction. Graves gently grabbed his fingers and in the softest possible gesture, he lifted the youngest's sleeve. In the light of the moon, he discovered the entire mark around his wrist. But that wasn't the worst of it. The worst was the condition of his entire arm. There were scars everywhere, some old, some much newer, some superficial and some that revealed a painfully deep wound, and in the thin skin of his wrist, where his veins were, he noticed the white marks of a cut excruciatingly similar to those on his own forearms.

Tears came to his eyes, and his heart quickened, anguish, regret, guilt and grief gripping his being. His hands began to shake dangerously, and he let go of Credence's fingers, feeling panic rising inside him. And of course, Credence, in all his gentleness, in all his benevolence, in all his self-sacrifice, framed his face in his hands to tell him in a reassuring smile:

"I'm fine, Percy, I just need to... "

"Credence... " he cut it off, his voice trembling, full of sobbing.

The young man moved away from him, leaning back on the sink again, looking at the outside. He seemed to be thinking about what he could confide in Percival. Then, after a deep and painful breath, he explained:

"Sometimes... Sometimes I would forget or no longer know what had really happened... And it had become a habit to heal wounds, to make up the blows... He rarely touched my face, so it was easier to hide everything... And anyway, I'm a nurse, I disinfect and bandage wounds, I knew how to do it. "

Percival bit the inside of his cheek to contain his emotions. He wanted to go after Gellert to rip his guts out, to scream out all the anger he had against himself, and at the same time to burst into tears. All these startle, this latent fear when Credence heard a man's voice behind him, it wasn't because of him, it was because of this human waste. He couldn't manage to swallow the painful ball at the back of his throat, and he could hardly stay calm, torn inside.

"For how long? " he finally asked.

He needed to know, needed to know how long Credence had been abandoned to this suffering again.

The first seven years of his life were engraved in his skin with a belt, cane and metal rod. His biological mother was a madwoman, convinced that poor little Credence had the devil in him, beating her son until he bled to death, starving him of food and sometimes even light by locking him in a cupboard. He had suffered atrociously, too much for a child. And Percival had only recently learned all this. Louise had finally told him what the first years of the youngest's life were hiding when Percy had once worried that he would never see Credence in a T-shirt.

His mother didn't tell him everything in detail, but he didn't need it to make himself feel guilty about it and to hug Credence a few hours later.

And right now he needed to know how many years Gellert had abused him, how strong and brave Credence must have been, and how long he had had to survive alone, abandoned by everyone in Chicago.

"Almost two years... " he confessed. "At first he was different, I guess that's how this kind of story always starts... And then he started making hurtful remarks, and the first blow went off. Then another, and another, and another, until I finally thought I deserved it and it was my fault...Sometimes it was just with his hands, other times it was with whatever was coming at him, a vase, a glass, a fucking plate. One night he pulled out a knife and he slashed my back... The scars are really not pretty to look at, but they match Mary Lou's... I managed to knock him out with a frying pan and I ran away... And I came here... I'm not as perfect as you think I am, and I didn't come here because Louise called me ... I came because I had nowhere else to go and I needed my mother ... the only one I ever had. She didn't need me, I needed her. So you see, I'm no angel, I'm just a fucking coward. "

He said his last sentence in a joyless laugh, raising a weary look at Percy. He wanted to take him in his arms, hold him tightly and never let him go, but he was afraid to invade his space in a moment in which the youngest seemed so vulnerable. He cleared his throat, poorly hiding the sobs he was holding back, before asking, with his eyes on the floor:

"Why... why wasn't he arrested? "

Credence laughed poorly, wiping the wet traces of tears from his cheeks before answering:

"His father is high-ranking in the police force, so I guess that gave him a chance to pull some strings... "

It was unfair, so unfair. That asshole deserved to pay, he deserved to suffer, he deserved the worst things in the universe. What about himself? How was he better? Too selfish to be there for someone he should have protected! Too focused on his suffering to worry about Credence's pain! And all this for what? Out of jealousy? Because he felt abandoned?

God, he hated himself so much, he wanted to go back in time to change these 17 years of unsaid things. A plaintive sound passed his lips, and Credence looked up at him. A first sob agitated his rib cage and suddenly he was nothing but tears and crying, unable to see anything through his blurred vision. He approached Credence, shaking violently. He felt useless, so useless.

"Can I... Can I help you take care of your wrist? Please... " he begged between his tears.

He didn't know what else to do. How could he ask for forgiveness? How could he ask for redemption? Credence was going to hate him for the rest of his life. He had to hate him! He felt the younger one's hands framing his face, but he could barely see him through his tears. 

"Oh no, Percy, don't cry! Don't cry for me... "

And it was suddenly too much, too much weight on his shoulders and in his heart. He felt his legs get weak under him and he fell to his knees in front of the younger one. Credence knelt down in front of him, drawing him into an embrace, stroking his hair, releasing his tears as well. Percy closed his arms around him, hugging him tightly as he sobbed: 

"I'm so sorry... I've never been someone you could count on, someone you could turn to... I'm sorry. Maybe if I had been more present, if I had been a family to you, maybe... "

"Percy, please don't do this..." begged the younger one, tightening his grip around him.

"You're not a coward, I'm a coward... Credence, you're so much better than me... "

"Oh, Percy, don't... don't say that. "

Credence moved away from him, taking the face of the elder between his fingers and in an impulsive gesture so full of emotion, he placed his lips against his own. The air remained stuck in Percival's lungs, while this contact, this simple contact, awakened in him an avalanche of feelings, feelings so strong that he would have been unable to describe them. It wasn't just a fleeting love, a crush, an attraction, it was more than that, it was burning, visceral, intoxicating, powerful. He closed his eyes very tightly and before he could respond to that kiss, Credence moved away from him.

"I'm sorry... "he said nervously, realizing what he had just done. "I'm sorry, you don't have to..."

But Percy didn't let him finish. He put a hand to the back of his head to bring him back to himself again, embracing him as if his life depended on it, as if nothing else existed except this exchange, as if Credence was suddenly the air in his lungs, the beating of his heart, his present and his future united. He didn't want to think or contemplate the consequences, he just wanted to love him. To love him so much that he would go crazy, to love him so much that he would burn, to love him so much that he would fly higher than the stars. He wanted everything about him, his skin, his wounds, his tears, his smiles, his dark eyes, the softness of his lips, the incandescence of his hands, his smell, his ardor. He wanted it...

There was nothing tender about the kiss, it was violent, raw. It tasted like need, anger, sorrow and rebirth. An immeasurable desire to be there for each other, one for the other, one against the other. Credence came closer, settling on Percy's thighs, so close and yet the older one wanted more, he needed more.

Percival managed to get back on his feet, taking Credence with him, and once he was up, he grabbed the younger one by the waist and lifted him up so he could sit him on the work surface. Credence pulled him closer, wrapping his long legs around his waist and his hands grabbing Graves' hair.

No words were uttered, and yet so many things were said, so many things hidden for too long, stifled by months of sorrow, years of resentment. Percival desired him as he had never desired anyone before, as if he was kissing someone for the very first time, as if no one before Credence had really mattered. He had wiped out in one kiss, one embrace, all that Graves thought he knew of the passion, the emotion, the fury of feelings and the violence of abandoning oneself to another. At that point it was far too late to turn back, to go back, to forget.

Percival carried Credence against him to take him upstairs, and when he laid him down against the mattress in the youngest's room, he allowed himself to leave his lips so that he could kiss his neck, his jaw, his cheeks, covering his face with a kiss while Credence moaned beneath him. He bit the skin on his shoulder, as if he needed to leave his mark, to prove to himself that Credence had belonged to him as himself had belonged to him for weeks. Credence was magnificent, perfect, breathtakingly beautiful. And selfishly, Graves wanted him for himself, for himself alone. They found themselves naked against each other quickly, as if their haste prevented them from realizing what they were doing, and all that it entailed.

Percy was, despite his fiery, bubbling blood, incredibly gentle in every move he made. He wanted to make him feel safe, loved, protected. That nothing could ever touch him as long as he was there. And he felt like he was losing his mind a little more every time Credence moaned, every time he tilted his head back in the pillows, every time he whispered his name. Percival forgot why for months he had kept himself away from Credence, why it was wrong to want him so badly, why he shouldn't have loved him as he did tonight.

Tears rolled down his cheeks when he was in Credence, and they weren't tears of sadness. They were proof that he was alive, that his heart was stirred up with feelings too powerful to express them any other way, proof that he had never felt the incandescent violence of love the way he did tonight. The movements were quick, desperate, and Credence held him tightly, devouring his mouth, wiping the salty pearls on his cheeks with the tip of his lips.

He felt a burning wave spreading through his body, through his heart, through his blood, and he could no longer hold back the groans of pleasure that were shaking him, blowing them into Credence's ear as he deliciously dug his nails into the skin of his back, perhaps to the point of blood. Graves thought to himself that if he kept this trace of their passion for the rest of his life, he would be the happiest of men.

When the orgasm shook Credence, he spilled between their two bodies, biting his lower lip to hold back the cry of pleasure that remained stuck in his throat. And he was so beautiful, so gorgeous, so handsome that Percy almost felt as if he was glowing in the dark of the night, his eyes closed, his back bowed, his breath taken. This vision also brought him to his climax. The burning waves seemed to last an eternity, and he was sure he had never felt this way before... He then let himself fall back gently against Credence, taking care not to crush him under his weight, his head resting against his chest so that he could listen to the youngest's heartbeat, to make sure he was there, that he too was alive and that ecstasy had overwhelmed him as well.

He would have liked to remain carefree, he would have liked to savor this liberation and this feeling longer, but consciousness is sometimes deceitful, and reality imposed itself on him so violently that he almost felt like vomiting. Credence moved beneath him, as if he, too, suddenly needed to escape. Percival straightened up, leaving Credence's body, and the younger one quickly moved away, cowering on the edge of the bed, as far away from Graves as possible.

What had he done? God, what had he just done? He had taken advantage of Credence's suffering, he had made everything revolve around him while the younger one needed comfort and protection. What had he done? How was he going to be able to look at him after that? How was he going to be able to apologize, to ask for forgiveness? He wanted to throw up so badly that this realization made him sick. He felt like a monster of selfishness, and the body in the fetal position of Credence did nothing to appease the growing hatred towards himself.

"Can you leave me alone, please?" Credence murmured in a trembling voice.

He cried. He was crying because of him. Graves reached out a hand to him, touching his shoulder, but Credence came out sharply, as if the contact had burned him. And Percival's heart broke into a thousand pieces.

"Credence, I... " he whispered.

"Please... I need to be alone Percy, please. " he begged.

And how could he have denied him that after what he had just done? His head was spinning, he felt like he was going to faint. And maybe nothingness would have been better than this descent into hell, this cruel fallout. He quickly put his clothes back on, his hands trembling, shortness of breath. When he closed the door behind him, he heard Credence break into tears, and he thought he was going mad. He suddenly felt like hurting himself again, punishing himself, writing in his flesh what his soul could not bear. He needed air, he needed to scream, he needed to atone for his sins. He dragged himself to the first floor, swaying dangerously down the stairs, trying not to collapse under the weight of remorse and guilt.

He felt like running away or disappearing, and since he was unable to do either, he decided to lock himself in his mother's car so he could express all his feelings. He entered the vehicle, slowly closing the door. Then he wrapped his trembling hands around the steering wheel and allowed himself to scream. He shouted everything that tore him apart, everything that made him feel miserable, disgusting, monstrous. He shouted that he had held Credence in his arms only to lose him the next moment. And after several minutes, he took his phone out of his pocket and called the only person who could calm him down.

Sera's sleepy voice answered him after a few tones:

"Hello? "

A plaintive sound passed his lips and soon he burst into tears, hiding his face in his hand, his body trembling like a leaf.

"Percy? Percy, what happened?" she worried, now fully awake.

He tried to answer, but the words died on his lips. He was hyperventilating, the breath hurting his lungs, scratching his throat as burning tears rolled down his cheeks.

"Percival, breathe! Breathe, please. "

Seraphina's voice gradually soothed him. She calmly waited on the other end of the phone, breathing in and out at regular intervals so that Percy could match her breathing. After several minutes he was able to say:

"I screwed up, I screwed up so bad... My mother is going to hate me, she's going to hate me, she has to. Sera, I fucked up... How am I going to be able to look at her after that? How am I going to stay here? "

And it didn't take long for his best friend to realize in a sigh what had just happened and what had put him in this terrible state.

"You slept with him... " she said.

Percival's sobs redoubled. He was so tragically predictable, and Sera had foreseen this catastrophe long before he realized his own feelings. He was pathetic, despicable, ridiculous.

"I hate myself... " he cried. "I hate myself, I'm so disgusting, I'm a monster. I hate myself so much, I feel like... "

"Percy, calm down. " She cut it off gently. "To do this kind of thing, it takes two people, right? What exactly happened? "

He didn't want to think about it, he didn't want to see that night again. Everything had gone so fast, and it had slipped out of his control, as if he was suddenly master of nothing. It was so full of emotion that he felt as if years had passed since he had left Louise's bedside to approach the window. He swallowed with difficulty, trying in vain to calm the nervous bursts of his rib cage.

"His... His ex-boyfriend came... And I... We almost fought, the guy's an asshole and... and then he left. And Credence... "

"Breathe. Breathe, Percy, I'm right here, okay? "

Sera tried to soothe him as best she could, but it was harder to do that from a distance. Why couldn't he do it alone? Why, at almost 34 years old, was he unable to overcome these crying fits? Why was he so much a slave to what he felt? He began to speak again, breathing heavily, his words sometimes choking in his sobs:

"Credence explained to me that this bastard had beaten him... My God Sera, his arms are covered with scars, and his back, and... God, I felt so awful and I... I don't know, it made me feel horribly sad, as if I had failed, like I abandoned him... And he kissed me and I... I needed to hold him against me... I needed it so badly... At the time it felt so right, and I felt so alive, as if nothing else mattered... Sera, I don't know what to do... "

His voice had broken on the last words. He was totally desperate and felt like he was drowning, that he would never be able to find the surface and breathe again.

"Oh Percy..." Sera whispered sadly.

The panic took place in his mind, this uncontrollable fear that he wasn't good enough, that he was bad and that his mother had been right to walk away all those years. Credence was going to hate him, he was going to despise him, he was going to avoid him like the plague. He had destroyed everything, reduced everything to nothing in just a few hours.

"She's going to hate me... She's going to hate me! I can't lose her! I can't lose her! Not now! Not now that I'm about to lose her forever! And Credence... Credence is going to think that I'm like his fucking ex-boyfriend, that I'm selfish and that I took advantage of his suffering and... And that's what I did! And I hate myself horribly, Sera, it suffocates me when I talk... "

He closed his eyes, resting his forehead against the edge of the steering wheel, continuing to breathe with difficulty.

"God, Percy, I knew this was going to happen... Why do you always pick the most complicated stories? What is this, a personal challenge? "

She wasn't angry, just cruelly fatalistic and slightly sad to see how right she had been to sound the alarm about Credence.

"I didn't choose it!" he answered. "I didn't decide anything! And I regret it, okay? "

"Honestly? Do you honestly regret it, or are you just telling me this because you're hiding the fact that you're in love with him and it scares you? "

She knew him so well, it was almost scary. For any answer, Percival burst into tears again.

"In the name of heaven, Percival Graves! When I said "not him", I thought: _not him_ , for fuck's sake! " she exclaimed.

He had promised to resist, to be stronger than his crush, but he had failed. He had failed miserably, and now he was in love to death, and his heart was so aching that he felt as if a sword had been thrust into his chest. He felt like Icarus who had come too close to the sun. He had wanted the light and warmth of Credence, and it had burned him to the marrow of his bones.

"I know... I know, I'm sorry... My God, what's wrong with me... I should have listened to you, I'm so stupid, I'm so weak... "

"No, that's not true! " she intervened, not being able to stand it when he criticized himself like that. "God, it's so frustrating to be on the other side of the country! I just want to hug you or slap you, probably both at the same time! I love you so much, but God, you're doing shit bigger than the universe! "

"I know, I'm sorry. "

A silence settled in, and little by little, tiredness came over Graves. He was exhausted, at the end of his strength, and he plunged into a kind of lethargic state that made him feel like he was slowly leaving his body and entering a foggy sensation. He wasn't sure if he could survive anything else. His mind was in agony, his heart was in pieces, his body was in pain. His eyes continued to water with tears, but he was far too tired to continue crying properly. He stood up, tilting his head against the headrest, staring at the house in front of him.

"Where is he?" Seraphina finally asked.

"In his bedroom. He asked me to leave. " he confessed, his voice hoarse.

"And where are you? "

"In the car. "

Sera let out a sigh of relief. Perhaps she had been afraid to hear that he was in the bathroom or the kitchen, where the sharp objects were. That was the only thing Graves had managed to do tonight: resist his urge to physically injure himself. Seraphina took a deep breath and calmly explained:

"Well... For tonight, go to your room and sleep. You're not going to wake up Louise, and you're certainly not going to have a discussion with him in this state. Otherwise you'll panic, and you'll say shit, and you'll regret it for the rest of your life. "

Yes, there was a very good chance it would happen like that.

"Yes, you're right... "

"Of course I'm right! That's why you called me, isn't it?" she joked to lighten the mood. "Go to your room, Percy, I'll stay on the phone with you, okay? And stop apologizing, okay ? I am not mad at you at all and I have no reason to be, Percy joli. "

"Okay. " he whispered.

He got out of the car with difficulty, locked it, before going back inside. He cautiously avoided looking in the direction of the kitchen and went back upstairs. He leaned on the ramp and then on the wall, fearing that he would collapse every second. Sera repeated reassuring words and when he slipped into his sheets, she stayed on the phone until he entered this comatose state just before falling into a deep sleep. She said several times that she loved him, that Theseus loved him, but especially that Louise loved him and that he needed to calm down. And when she hung up, Percival was lost in the limbo of a dreamless sleep. The universe had collapsed, in the midst of the things he felt and the things he feared... Him who hated chaos and disorder, he had just turned his life upside down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have the tissues this time *give the reader a tissue * They'll be happy at the end, I promise.


	3. Things you lose, things you hold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a long chapter, I hope you like it.   
> I apologize if I make mistakes in the medical field, I don't know much about it ^^   
> Kisses   
> Oh and here is the box of tissues just in case ;)

When Percival woke up, it took him several seconds to remember what had happened the day before, and those few moments of amnesia allowed him to open his eyes and get used to the light before the suffering returned at full gallop. It spread through his blood like a poison, suffocating his soul, destroying his hopes. His phone was still lying on the pillow next to him and he was wearing his clothes from the day before. He hadn't dreamed: he had held in his arms the man he was in love with, for whom he had fallen irretrievably in just two months, and now he was going to have to live with the fact that he had hurt him and that Credence would never want him.

With swollen eyes from crying too much, a migraine pulling his mind away, Graves left his bed after a long sigh. He randomly grabbed a clean shirt and clean pants before heading to the bathroom. He stayed under the hot water for a long time, washing what was left from the day before, rubbing his skin almost to the point of blood in some places. He had to erase what was left of Credence, his light, his gentleness, his ardor. He felt dirty, miserable, unworthy of his mother's love, but above all unworthy of Credence. In the end, things might have been easier if he had continued with his prejudices and resentment...

Once dressed, he left the foggy room to go to his mother's room. Louise was still sleeping, and Credence was not there. He sat down in his usual chair, taking the book he had started yesterday, which was on the bedside table. He read it silently, forcing himself to concentrate on the heroine's adventures to avoid going back over and over again to what had happened last night. But the task was much harder than it seemed: everything brought him back to Credence, to his eyes shining with tears, his lips, his pale skin, his smell, his whispers.

_Percy..._

He was in the middle of the fourth chapter when one of the medical devices began to sound strangely. Percy put his book down, trying to call his mother to wake her up, but the high-pitched noise became louder and he started to panic. Louise was breathing strangely, and she was much paler than usual. Credence came running into the room, opening his nursing bag hastily, beginning to do what was necessary to help Louise.

"Call an ambulance!" he ordered.

Percival ran to his room to retrieve his phone and call 911. He described the situation as best he could and after he received confirmation that an ambulance was on its way, he hung up so he could call Albus. The doctor assured that he would be there in less than ten minutes and Percy returned to Louise's room. Credence was so in control of himself, so calm, doing everything that needed to be done with disconcerting precision. Graves was totally frightened, almost bursting into tears, his hands trembling, breathing short. Contrary to the other times, the younger one did not push him into the corridor, completely indifferent to his presence. And he couldn't blame him, Louise was the priority.

The rest happened very quickly. Albus arrived a few minutes before the ambulance, quickly asking Credence what he had done before checking himself. The nursing staff assisted him as soon as they arrived, and Dumbledore arranged to call a friend and colleague at the hospital to let him know they were coming. Louise was moved into the vehicle, orders were shouted, tools and medication were requested. Credence got into the ambulance with her and Percy took the car, and Albus left on his side.

He felt as if he was floating outside his body, as if he was no longer himself, as if he was contemplating the scene with an outside eye. This was probably due to the accumulation of emotions from the past days. When Louise arrived at the hospital, she was taken care of quickly, largely thanks to Albus, who knew several people. Credence completed the record form for her care. And finally, the worst came: the wait.

Percival sat in an uncomfortable chair in the hallway and Credence sat a few meters away from him. He seemed imperturbable, incredibly calm, his hands resting wisely on his knees as he waited for someone to come and see them. Percy was horribly eager to take him in his arms, to hug him, to feel him. Or rather, he wanted Credence to hug him, to reassure him, to teach him to be as soothed as he was. He needed him... But the younger one didn't look at him, he barely seemed to remember his presence. And this indifference was intolerable, unbearable. It broke his heart and made him want to scream.

Albus gave them questioning glances, a raised eyebrow, but he refrained from making the slightest comment, aware that it was not his place. In a nervous gesture, Percival left his chair and walked towards the cafeteria, without bothering to ask Credence if he wanted anything. He didn't want him, that was for sure... In the absence of the distributor offering glasses of whiskey, Percival took an espresso. He drank it quickly, burning his tongue and throat, before taking a new one.

Everyone around him seemed as sad and exhausted as he was. He hated the hospital, that enclosed place with white or gray walls, the smell of disease, of disinfectant, of grief, of suffering. Or maybe he was just too tired and emotionally exhausted to see any positive side to this place...

When he returned to the hallway, one of the doctors was talking to Albus. When the practitioner saw him, he motioned for him to come closer. Percy and Credence approached, the younger one keeping his neutral expression while Graves must have looked completely panicked.

"So?" Percival asked.

"I'm not going to lie to you, she's not well at all. " he confessed. "Mr. Barebone's care is helping her a lot, but in order to really help her, she would have to agree to be treated here at the hospital. But she refuses to stay. "

No wonder, Louise refused to be in a hospital room from the beginning. And even under those circumstances, it was impossible to change her mind. In all honesty, Percival wasn't sure he wanted to impose this on her... She had always abhorred medical facilities, and he really didn't want to upset his mother now. He preferred, and perhaps it was selfish, to let her rest in the midst of her flowers and books in the house his father had built for their wedding. He cleared his throat, straightening himself up to give himself some self-control before he ventured to ask :

"Would it... would it change anything? If she stays here, would it change anything? "

The doctor considered them, he and Credence, for a few moments. He glanced sideways at Albus, who made a vague head movement. Then he finally laid his compassionate irises on the older man and said:

"Frankly, Mr. Graves, no. It would help her live a little longer and have a little less pain, but Mr. Barebone is already doing a wonderful job, and Dr. Dumbledore assures that he will be able to continue to be present on a daily basis. "

In other words, it was a half-word admission that Louise didn't have much longer, that the end was on its way, that the dreaded death was approaching. His broken heart didn't matter, his stupid and unrequited love for Credence didn't matter, his feeling of being miserable and pathetic didn't matter, Louise was leaving. She was going where Graves couldn't follow her, and all the efforts of the world would not have changed that. His stomach contracted violently, and he was afraid for a moment to vomit up the coffee he had just drunk. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath to calm himself, focusing on his heartbeat to quiet it. When he reopened his eyelids, Albus had again that sad and sorry expression that Percival saw at the end of each consultation and the doctor at his side was staring at the file he had in his hands, as if all his years of practice could not prevent him from dreading such a moment. With a trembling voice, Percival asked:

"How long. "

"Don't ask that!" Credence suddenly raved beside him.

He had finally left his taciturn mask to speak, and he was visibly angry with Percy. But Graves was tired, exhausted from seeing his mother in pain and exhausted from Credence's perseverance, from his unfailing stubbornness in trying to cure her. So he ignored him, and simply repeated:

"How long do we have? "

The doctor held his gaze for a moment before confessing:

"Two weeks... Maybe a month... "

Two weeks... Two weeks, maybe three, four at the most, and then it would be over. He wouldn't hear his mother call him "my baby" anymore, he wouldn't hear her humming a song, he wouldn't see her smiling, laughing, looking at him with those tender and loving eyes. She would disappear, she would leave, she would fly away to join his father, and he would remain tragically alone, abandoned on the pavement.

Percival tried to swallow the painful ball at the back of his throat, nodding vaguely to make the doctor understand that he had heard him.

"I am sorry. " the doctor added politely, before walking away.

The look in Credence's eyes burned his skin, and Albus looked like he didn't know how to react. The younger one suddenly walked away from them to enter the room, leaving Graves in the hallway with Dumbledore. The man put a compassionate hand on his shoulder and announced that he would keep his phone on if necessary. Then he went too, leaving Percival tetanized, his muscles paralyzed, his body slightly shaking. He would have collapsed there, he would have fallen to the greenish ground if his body hadn't moved by reflex.

And before he knew it, he was in the room. Louise had wires and pipes everywhere. She looked tiny, and he didn't know what to do with himself. By the bedside, Credence was checking the medical devices, as if that was going to make any difference to the situation, as if it was going to change what the doctor had just told them, as if his actions were going to somehow change the situation. And Graves wanted him to stop, to stop acting as if he was going to be able to save her, to stop closing himself up in his shell, to stop becoming that stranger he had despised for so long.

"Credence... " he murmured.

No answer, always these measured and delicate gestures that almost looked like dance movements. It was nearly intoxicating how perfect he was, and how much Percival realized that he needed him. He slowly approached the younger one.

"Credence... " he repeated

It almost sounded like a plea, a cry for help. He felt weak, tragically childish in his need for attention. He stopped just behind the youngest, moving his fingers forward to put them on his shoulder. He barely touched him when Credence moved away from him sharply, abruptly stepping back, raising his hands in front of him, as if to protect himself.

"Don't touch me! " he commanded.

His reaction left Percy shocked for a few moments. He didn't really expect Credence to come and ask him for a hug, as he had been doing for several weeks, but at least he hoped that he wouldn't push him away like that. _You're weak, you're disgusting, you're wicked..._

His heart broke and he felt as if he could hear it crashing on the too-clean floor of that hospital room. He wanted to beg him, to make him understand that he was sorry, that he needed him, but he hated himself too much to let his words cross his lips. Then, swallowing his tears, Percival let his hand fall back down along his body, looking down at the floor to escape Credence's confused face.

"I'm sorry..." the younger one murmured, his voice insecure. "I'm sorry... please don't touch me... "

Graves simply nodded, fleeing again from the dark irises of Credence. It was too much, too much pain in too little time, too much suffering for one heart, too much violence. The more he thought about the whole situation, the more he felt anger stirring in him, anger filled with frustration and grief. A fury against life, against fate, against his irrepressible desire for an unreachable being, for that crazy love that made no sense and was not reciprocal. Years that he tried to keep calm against everything, years that he took on himself for anything, crying in his corner, shouting in silence, but now he doubted that he could contain himself. Without realizing it, he had abandoned his heart for him, his soul, his reason, and now he would have done anything for him. He had changed everything, turned everything upside down, just to hope to make a place for himself in Credence life. His own life didn't mean much, always alone, unable to move forward, empty...

And soon Louise would no longer be there to reassure him, she would no longer be there. During all these years, he had been angry with her, angry with his father and their indifference. But now that she was dying in a hospital bed, now that his father had passed away, he felt like he had fought against the wind and lost countless wonderful moments that he could have shared with them. He suddenly felt suffocated, and without a glance for Credence, he left the room. He quickly made his way to the exit and rushed out. He was running with no precise goal, just this visceral need to expel what was pulling him, what was breaking him so cruelly. Then when his lungs hurt too much, when his exhausted legs threatened to knock him down, he took refuge in a small alley so he could scream. He shouted so loudly that he broke his voice, grabbing his hair as if he was trying to tear it off, letting burning tears roll down his cheeks.

He paid no attention to passers-by who looked at him strangely. The whole world might think he was crazy, he didn't care. And frankly, he wasn't sure he wasn't. He screamed for long minutes, until no sound passed his lips, until his throat hurt terribly, until he sobbed, sat on the dirty ground, cowering like a lost child. He wrapped his arms around his legs, crying against his knees. No one came to ask him if he was okay, if he needed help. It was as if he no longer existed, as if he had never existed at all. At least not really...

After an eternity of crying and screaming, he could no longer remember what time it was or where he was. He got up with difficulty, his head spinning, his limbs shaking, his vision blurred because of his tears. He returned to the hospital, his body aching, tired. He looked like a wreck, and if the people on the street had looked at him strangely, the people in the hospital just seemed compassionate. He dragged himself to Louise's room, too exhausted to keep feeling the sorrow and rage. He entered the chamber, gently closing the door behind him. Louise was awake, greeting him with a tender smile. Credence was asleep, sitting on the chair to the right of the bed, his head resting on his crossed arms posed on the mattress. Mrs. Graves was delicately caressing his brown curls, in a maternal and reassuring gesture.

Percy approached, taking a seat on the free chair to the left of the bed. He came closer to his mother, taking the hand she was holding out to him, between his own. Louise laid her gaze on Credence's sleeping face before saying in a low voice :

"He's so beautiful when he sleeps, he looks so peaceful, free... Oh baby mine, he wants so much to be perfect when he already is... "

Just when he thought he had cried all he had inside, the tears began to pour down his cheeks again as silent sobs shook his rib cage. His mother turned to him, placing her hand on his cheek.

"Mom, don't go, please... " he sobbed.

Tears came to Louise's eyes as she whispered a weak :

"Oh, my baby. "

She gestured to him to come and lie down on the bed next to her, and like the confused, frightened and sad child he was at that moment, he took refuge next to her. He cowered beside her, his face resting on her belly. She caressed his hair with tenderness. 

"Credence and you, you are the loves of my life. " she said after a moment. "I love you so, so much. No one can take that love away from you, Percy. No one. "

He buried his face against the sheets, hiding his tears as his entire body was shaken with sobs. What was he going to do without her? What would become of him? Would he lose himself in a life devoid of purpose, taking refuge in work to forget how lonely his existence was? Or how much he felt like he was living on the hook of Sera and Theo's friendship?

"I don't want you to leave... " he cried. "I love you mom, I don't want you to leave. "

"I know, baby. Oh my Percy... my beautiful, sweet, amazing Percy. You've given so much meaning to my life. Always so gentle, so caring... I'm so proud of you baby, so proud of the man you've become. You two have been the meaning of my existence, and you are my eternity."

He laid his eyes on Credence's sleeping face. And all the resentment of the past 17 years came back to his face. It had been useless not to tell his parents about his suffering, his feeling of inferiority, of being less than the cricket. Above all, it had been pointless to hate Credence all that time. Everything would have been so much easier if he had talked openly to his family, if he had confided his unhappiness to them, if he had gotten to know the talented little boy who had become a wonderful man. He felt as if he had lost strength and time for nothing. For nothing, since Louise had finally listened to him and apologized and he had fallen irrevocably in love with Credence.

"I shouldn't have... I shouldn't have stopped coming to see you... " he sobbed. "God, I've wasted so much time... "

His mother withdrew her hand from Credence's hair so that she could frame Percival's face with her cold fingers, turning her son's face towards her. She was doing her best not to cry and to comfort Percy. In a confident yet gentle voice, she said:

"Don't regret anything, Percival. I have not been a blameless mother and you have put distance between us to preserve yourself. And that is what any mother should want for her child: that he protect himself. I don't blame you at all, okay? I don't blame you for anything. So don't regret anything, my love. "

He closed his eyes, letting some salt pearls roll down his cheeks, which his mother wiped off with her thumbs. He let these words caress his heart, softening for a few moments the wounds of his soul. Then he rested his face against his mother's belly, contemplating the face of the young man with the black curls. And Louise was right, he was beautiful in his sleep, free of his anguish and restraint. He looked at him for a long time, his mother taking up her caresses in his hair and in the youngest's. At the end of a long silence, once his tears had faded away, he murmured:

"He is beautiful... "

Louise had a small, gentle laugh, as if she knew something that Percival didn't yet understand.

"The face of an angel, isn't it?" she said, her voice filled with a smile.

"Yes. " He confessed in a sigh.

So close to him, Credence seemed inaccessible, so near and yet so far away. His mother was right, he was an angel, and he, as a poor mortal, would have to accept that he was not worthy of such a wonderful being.

* * *

A few days later, Louise was allowed to go home, and with the help of Albus and Mary, Percy and Credence did everything they could to make her as comfortable as possible. The doctors and nurses all had that look, the glance that foretold the inevitable. Percival stayed at his mother's bedside from morning to night, simply allowing himself to go for a run when Mary, Queenie or Tina was with her. Running allowed him to change the air, wash his lungs and express his grief in a different way.

The work had completely taken a back seat and neither Theo nor Sera held it against him.

He tried to cry as little as possible in front of his mother, much preferring to see her smile the few times she had enough strength to stay awake to talk with him.

His mom was asleep most of the time, and the treatment she had allowed her to feel less pain, but it didn't completely soothe her, and that was excruciating to see. The relationship, or lack thereof, with Credence had not improved. And even though Louise was his priority, Percival couldn't stop his heart from missing a beat when they passed close enough to each other to touch skins, he couldn't stop his eyes from looking at him when he was doing dance steps, when he was redoing his hair, when he was falling asleep at Louise's bedside. Credence was everywhere, and simultaneously absent all the time, as if the pact to never see each other had started all over again.

Graves spent his nights cleaning the house completely, as if scrubbing every nook and cranny of the building would allow him to forget and wash himself of this feeling that stuck to his skin. The silence of the night also did him a lot of good, largely because his insomnia made him sad and irritable. Then, in the early morning hours, he would return to his mother's bedside and allow himself to fall asleep in the uncomfortable chair. To doze off and fall into nothingness, to join an alternative life in which his parents were alive and healthy, a reality in which he and Credence were happy, an existence in which fate was merciful.

Percival awoke with a start, afraid but unable to remember his dream. He straightened up, grimacing slightly as he felt the muscles of his aching back and neck. The night was about to give way to the day outside, and the whole house was plunged into silence. Graves was sitting on the chair at Louise's bedside, and he didn't even remember dozing here. He looked around him. His mother was sleeping peacefully, at least as much as her condition allowed, and Credence was not in his usual chair. After a long sigh, and a kiss on Louise's forehead, Percival left the room. He went downstairs without a sound, then grabbed his cigarette pack and lighter from his coat pocket before going out into the garden.

The singing of the birds seemed to herald a beautiful day and the night air felt nice, although he wished the heat wasn't so heavy. In three weeks, he would be 34 years old, and there was a high probability that on that day he would be an orphan. Mentally reprimanding himself for thinking such a thing, he lit a cigarette, breathing nicotine deeply into his lungs. He tilted his head back, closing his eyes, offering his face to the morning clouds of that summer. When he opened his eyelids, he felt a tear roll down his cheek, and wiped it gently, continuing to smoke.

He walked slowly towards the pool at the end of the garden. He stared for a long time at the blue water glimmering in the sky. With a quick gesture, he took off his shoes before sitting down and dipping his feet into the water. Beauty was sometimes found in simple things, and happiness too. So this morning he allowed himself to look at the sky and its clouds, to feel the water against his skin, to savor a cigarette in the middle of the silence of the city that had not yet awakened.

A noise behind him almost startled him, but he was far too exhausted to really be afraid. In any case, what could be worse than this unbearable situation, this incessant grief and suffocating loneliness? He didn't look up at Credence when he appeared at his side. He pulled on his cigarette again, his gaze fixed on the water vibrating slightly in the breeze.

Credence took off his shoes before sitting down next to him and immersing his feet as well. They remained silent, Percy just smoking, unable to look at the young man beside him while Credence kept his eyes on him. Maybe they should have talked, maybe a lot of things needed to be said, heard, understood, maybe it was time to open up. But Graves didn't feel able to do that, and he didn't want to break it all, he didn't want Credence to go away, he wanted to keep him close for a few more moments, a few thin seconds, until the wound in his heart healed a little. _Please... Please..._

Without the slightest word, Credence took the wrist of the elder, turning it over, palm upwards, and always in complete silence, he passed his index finger over the white scars on his forearm. It wasn't much, a light touch, a butterfly caress on the traces of what he had suffered. He retraced with his fingertips all the marks of these self-inflicted wounds, as if he was trying to close them definitively, as if he had the power to heal him, to erase everything that had once torn him apart, destroyed him to the point of hating himself, of no longer supporting himself. This gesture seemed to last an eternity, at least as long as the one during which Percy had felt lost and abandoned.

A new tear rolled down his cheek, and after a deep breath, he looked up at Credence. They stared at each other for a long time, the younger one trying to find something in his eyes. Then he leaned over to place a kiss on his cheek, and Graves didn't know what that contact meant. It was reassuring, tender, but at the same time it had a bitter taste of farewell. Credence moved away from him, then put his head on his shoulder, closing his eyes. Percival intertwined their fingers, and the youngest didn't take his hand away.

It was not a reconciliation or forgiveness, it was an interlude, a pause, an unexpected parenthesis. It didn't mean anything specific, it promised a lot and it was very quiet. Maybe in the years to come, Credence would remember him as the man who had been crazy enough to want him for the time of one night, maybe he would become the ghost of an almost brother he had vaguely known, maybe they would cross paths again one day and smile at each other, thinking that in an alternate reality things would have been different.

Percival put a kiss in Credence's hair and the younger one tightened his grip around his hand. In a few minutes, they should be back in the house, helping Louise, preparing her treatment, her meal, keeping her company, watching her sleep, talking with her, feeling the pain and the future that was about to get dark. But for now, just for a moment, they were two men, sitting by a pool, fingers tied, hearts beating in unison.

* * *

Percival was sitting in his usual chair, reading aloud a passage from Gone with the Wind. Louise was having a good day, she was able to stay awake and chat with them without looking completely exhausted or in pain. She had even been able to eat lunch without getting sick. Percy stood up when the bedroom door opened on Credence's smiling face. He stepped into the room to place a tender kiss on Louise's forehead, before apologizing for distracting Graves from his reading. Then he sat down in his chair and it wasn't until he raised his black irises to the older man and gave him the most moving smile in the Universe that Percy realized he had stopped reading and had been staring at him for several seconds.

Blushing slightly, he cleared his throat, moved a little in his chair, and then returned to his book. The reading continued for a long time, before his mother put her hand on his knee to signal him to stop for a moment. She smiled at him and then turned to Credence and asked in her delicate voice:

"Credence, baby mine, will you bring me a sweet tea? "

It was rare for her to ask such a thing, but given her condition today, it didn't seem to surprise the young man. He smiled back at her before getting up, announcing that he would not be long. He left the room, and Percival watched him do so, unable to avert his eyes. Perhaps the fatigue had begun to damage his brain and he was no longer able to prevent his eyes from following the slightest movement of the younger man. Louise put slight pressure on his leg to get his attention, and he turned to her, both confused and ashamed.

"It's complicated, isn't it? " she smiled.

"What is ?" he asked, pretending not to understand what she was talking about.

She had a small amused laugh. Her son's reaction was typical of the kind of behavior Albert might have had. Percy looked down, unable to hold his mother's gaze. She sighed softly before answering:

"To realize that the person we've hated for so long may be the solution to all our problems... That maybe that person is the one we're looking for in the eyes of others. That maybe it's the person who makes us feel alive. "

Graves closed his eyes. She knew. She knew, and she wasn't angry. And yet he felt like he had to explain himself, like he had to ask her forgiveness. He brought his chair closer to the bed, raising his sorry look towards her, trembling like a leaf.

"Mommy, I... "

"That's how it was with your father. " She cut him off, tenderly. "He was the son of my father's best friend, and I hated him. I don't know how many times I dreamed of hitting him or strangling him. Always making stupid jokes, seducing every girl that came along. A real seducer your father. He was right, he was handsome, just like you. "

Percival bit himself on the inside of the cheek, more nervous than he had ever been. He took his mother's hand between his own, swallowing with difficulty. Then, with a trembling voice, he said:

"And what happened? "

"I got sick when I was eighteen. A flu that went bad, an infection in my bronchial tubes. He stayed at my bedside for more than three months. He was 24 years old, he put his studies on hold, he cancelled everything he had planned with his friends. You should have seen him, almost glued to the chair next to my bed. The nurses never managed to get him to stick to the visiting hours. And that's when I realized that I was always mad at him because I really liked him. You know what happened next: three years later we got married and two more years later a little ray of sunshine named Percy came along. "

She ended her story with a radiant smile, looking at Percival as if he was the most beautiful thing in the world. He wanted to burst into tears, he didn't know how to react or what to say to her. He wasn't a ray of sunshine, he was just a wicked, unsteady being who had let himself be carried away by his feelings for the most wonderful being on earth.

"You've never told me that before..." he murmured, hiding his emotion poorly.

"I guess I should have... But we usually start the fairy tale when everything is going well, don't we? "

A plaintive sound passed Graves' lips, then another, and soon he burst into sobs, kneeling beside the bed, bringing her hand against his cheek, hoping with all his heart that she would forgive him for being so weak and imperfect.

"Mommy...Mommy, I've done something horrible... "he cried.

She framed his face with her hands so she could wipe the tears with her thumbs.

"Since when is being in love a crime? " she asked.

How could she be so understanding? How could she accept this? The little Credence she had always protected, exposed to her son's overwhelming feelings. It should have made her furious, it should have frightened her, disgusted her. But no, instead, she caressed Percival's face with tenderness and cradled him with her maternal love that would soon be only a memory.

"I don't want you to hate me," he sobbed. "It fell on me, I hadn't planned anything... Mom, I tried, I swear I tried, but I... and he... He's so... He's so... Mom, I don't know what to do... "

She seemed much sadder to see him in this state than she was bothered by what these revelations implied, and it made Graves' heart ache a little more.

"Oh, Percy, I know all that... And you don't have anything to blame yourself for... Do you love him? "

God knew that he had tried, really tried, to escape what he felt, but there was no point in lying, especially to Louise who seemed so ready to accept everything and forgive him for his madness.

"Yes ... Yes, I love him! " he confessed. "It's so powerful, so strong that it terrifies me... It burns under my skin... "

She took her hands off his face before waving at him to come against her and he took refuge in her arms, crying against her shoulder. She held him tightly against her, kissing his temple, running her fingers through his hair. She was silent for a few moments before she said :

"You've always been afraid of what you couldn't control, my darling, it's an anguish that comes from me, I think ... "

Percy's sobs redoubled, and he buried his face against the fabric of the pink dress she wore today.

"What if he doesn't want me?" he said afterwards. "What if he hates me? What if he realizes that I'm not worth it? He's so bright, I don't want to tarnish him... Mom, I'm scared... I'm so afraid. "

Louise pulled him away from her so she could look him in the eyes, but Percival stubbornly kept his eyelids shut. Tenderly, his mother caressed his jaws until he relaxed enough to be able to link his gaze to hers. Tears had formed at the corner of her eyes, but she continued to smile lovingly at him.

"I'm sure he feels exactly the same way. I love you Percival, with all my heart, and I love Credence as if he were my blood, but I am aware that I never raised you as brothers. You have never seen him like that, and Credence has always had for you an adoration that had nothing fraternal about it. You're not doing anything wrong, Percy, you barely saw him grow up. And nothing would make me happier than to know that you look out for each other. Life is far too short for you to worry about what people are going to think ! "

He didn't deserve this, he didn't deserve this understanding, this conviction that he was a good person and that he had the right to feel what he felt for Credence. He didn't deserve those eyes full of pride and affection, he didn't deserve all that.

"Mom, I... "

"Be happy, Percival!" she cut him off, "Be happy, and if that's what you really want, make him happy. Do it for me, baby. This kind of love doesn't come around every corner, so don't let it go. "

Of all the reactions his mother might have had, Percival never thought she would give him her blessing, that she would encourage him to keep Credence close to him. An immense weight left his shoulders, and he felt like he was breathing properly for the first time since that famous night. And this liberation made him melt into tears again. How could she be so wonderful? And how could he continue to move forward in a world where she was no longer there? Louise brought him back against her again, hugging him and then embracing him as fondly as she could.

"Don't cry, don't cry, my baby. " she whispered. "I love you and I will always love you. I will always love you, Percy. My baby, my sweet, sweet Percy. "

He surrendered himself entirely to his sobs, letting go of all the feelings that had kept him from confiding in his mother, from confessing his fault, from acknowledging his sin. She cradled him, tirelessly repeating how much she loved him, how proud she was of him, calling him "my baby" as if he were still a little boy. He remained in Louise's arms until the bedroom door opened behind him. Percival stood up, wiping his cheeks as his mother placed a kiss on his forehead. He sat back on his chair as Credence brought the tea tray.

Graves resumed his reading aloud while Louise and Credence drank their tea. Then, towards the end of the afternoon, he left the room to go for a run, giving the youngest the opportunity to chat alone with his mother as he had done. He didn't leave for long, returning at the same time that Albus arrived to check on Louise's health. He took a quick shower after accompanying the doctor to his mother's room, refraining himself from looking at Credence to see if he had also cried.

When he returned to the room, Albus was at his mother's bedside and Credence sat silently, his fingers holding Louise's, his thumb caressing the top of her hand. Mrs. Graves gave Percival the same loving gaze she had given him earlier, and it warmed his heart. All was forgiven, all had been said, all that remained was for him to have the courage to speak to Credence. After a few words with his patient and friend, Dumbledore stood up and the younger one offered to walk him to the door. They left the room, Percy approached the bed with a smile on his face, placing a gentle kiss on his mother's forehead, telling her again that he loved her.

He sat back on the chair which he felt he hadn't left in ages, and Louise closed her eyes, her fatigue returning very quickly. He looked at her for a long time, taking her hand between his own, detailing her face with his eyes, trying to remember every detail, every part of her that made her such a marvelous person.

"Percy, could you open the window?" she asked in a sleepy voice.

After a kiss on her hand, he stood up to do so, but as he turned the knob, a high-pitched sound echoed through the room, and he felt his heart break before his brain could even realize what was happening. He ran to the bed, his hands trembling, completely lost and helpless.

"Mom? " he called in panic. "Mommy? "

Albus and Credence came running. They moved around the bed, pushing Percival aside in the process. This wasn't happening... It wasn't the end, not now, not today...

He should never have agreed to take her home, if he had insisted that she stay in the hospital, maybe they would have had the equipment to bring her back, maybe she would have stayed longer. He was having such a hard time assimilating what was happening that he felt like he was detaching himself from his body. A medical staff arrived a few minutes later, and Graves didn't even remember seeing Albus or Credence calling them. It couldn't end, not now, not there. He wanted more time, he wanted to be able to hug her again, he wanted to tell her that he loved her, he wanted to make up for all the time he'd wasted resenting her.

_Don't go, don't leave me..._

But despite all his prayers, despite all that Credence had done, despite the intervention of Dumbledore and the medical team, the strident sound of the absent heartbeat continued to resound in the room, and after long and painful minutes, one of the nurses announced the time of death and Albus pulled the sheet up over Louise's face.

There... It ended there... Right there, in a room he knew only too well, in a house he had run away from for so long, his mother in her beautiful pink dress...

There are moments in life when everything loses its meaning, when we no longer know why we live, why we survive. We lose our marks, our language, everything we know. We lose the notion of time, the notion of pain, because it exceeds everything we have experienced. Percival had lived through this kind of moment on the day of the announcement of his father's death, and he was reliving it today, much too soon, much too violently. He could no longer see anything through his tears, and he was so drowned in his grief that he felt as if his own cries were foreign to him. Credence, for his part, did not cry, he was imperturbable, calm, seeming to welcome the news with the greatest possible peace of mind. He simply asked to be left alone with Louise, and without any opposition, the medical team and Albus left the room.

Percival dragged himself to the edge of the bed, resting his cheek against his mother's hand, which was under the sheet. She was about to wake up. She was coming back, she was going to wake up. Please... Mercy, please...

Slowly, Credence approached him, calling out to him several times without getting his attention. Then, gently, he knelt down beside Percy, putting one hand on his shoulder before hugging him completely, bringing him close to him.

"She's gone..." cried the older man. "She's gone. "

Credence didn't answer, rocking him against him, letting him cry in his arms, caressing his back and his hair. He was so delicate, giving Percy all the time and space he needed to scream his pain, to mourn his sorrow. He had hugged his mother for the last time...

* * *

The rest was incredibly blurry, as if Percival was passing out and then returning to reality by flash, as if life had become stroboscopic. He felt as if he was waking up only to fall again and again into nothingness. And this feeling continued for the next few days, long after the sound of the devices had disappeared, long after Louise's body had been taken away, long after he had found himself alone, prostrate, in the middle of the living room, forgetting even how to breathe. He was a wreck, the ghost of himself, lost in his own life, no longer remembering who he really was and why it was important to continue. And in front of him, calm, always in control of himself, Credence did not cry.

Everything had long been prepared for the funeral and the inheritance, and with the help of Mary, Queenie and Tina, Credence handled everything, taking the time to discuss things with Percy, asking his opinion on certain subjects, ending each of their discussions with a kiss on his forehead. And whenever Graves broke down in tears, he was there to support him, sometimes staying late in the garden with him while he calmed down and contemplated Louise's roses. And despite Percy's screams and the distress he showed, Credence remained quiet, and he didn't cry.

Seraphina and Theo arrived two days before the funeral, helping Credence with some of the arrangements and looking after Percy, as they had done for the past 17 years. Sera made no comment when she noticed the youngest's kisses on Percival's forehead, and she was careful not to discuss his feelings with Graves. She cried for a long time in Theseus' arms on the first night, blaming herself for not coming more often, crying about the years of their childhood spent in this garden, Louise's smiles, the cakes she made, the way she called them the 3 Musketeers. Theo also cried, allowing himself to play a piece of violin in front of the roses, as if the flowers were able to carry the melody to the heavens.

The day of the funeral came, and Percy had to gather all his strength to get ready that morning. Seraphina had prepared his suit on the chair beside his bed. It was the second time he had dressed like this, and it was as painful as ever. He could almost hear his father's voice saying, " _No one looks as good as you in a suit!_ "Was that why he had been wearing only this for years? Or was it in the slim hope of looking a little like his father?

_No one looks as good as you do in a suit... Yes, Dad, you did..._

He remained planted in front of his own reflection. He felt as if he had fled the family home since his father's death, partly also to avoid seeing his absence, not feeling it. And these last few months, Louise managed, despite her illness, to keep him alive, to continue to use his objects, to read his books, to listen to his music. But today, today that she was gone too, today that it was to her that they were saying goodbye, Percival would have gladly given all he had to have Albert next to him, one hand on his shoulder. He was alone... He was completely alone...

Credence approached without a sound, making no comment on Percy's lethargic state, just helping him with his tie. Then he gave him a thin smile full of tenderness before telling him that it was almost time. Credence checked that everything was in order for the guests to arrive after the ceremony, Percival following him like a shadow, he made sure several times that the house was locked before accompanying him outside to the car.

The trip seemed to last a century, and Percival didn't even know how he was still standing when he got out of the car. Theo accompanied him to his seat in the front row, visibly fearing that Graves would collapse on the way, before finding his place next to Sera, a little further on. Credence was next to him, still with that same calm expression. Percival was so exhausted, so sad, that he could barely hear what was being said in memory of his mother. He was unable to look at her face asleep in the coffin, or at the smiling picture paused next to it. He was so desperate that the few words he said on the stage sounded wrong, distant, as if he wasn't the one speaking. Of all the crying faces, Mary's was probably the hardest to bear, and he allowed himself to hug her tightly when he finished his little speech. She embraced him tightly, repeating several times how proud his mother was of him.

He would have liked to answer that he knew, but despite what Louise had told him before leaving, he could not feel worthy of it.

A little before the end of the ceremony, Credence had asked for a song to be played, and against the walls of the great hall, the melody of "Baby mine" resounded, ricocheting on the stone, rising in sad silence.

_Baby mine, don't you cry_

_Baby mine, dry your eyes_

_Rest your head close to my heart_

_Never to part, baby of mine_

Breath remained stuck in Percy's lungs as he heard these words. A memory suddenly surfaced, imposing itself on him as coming back from the farthest reaches of his memory. He was 16 years old, leaning against the door frame of the room that had been set up for a little boy with brown curls. It was a few days after Credence's arrival, some time also before Percival's bitterness and jealousy tarnished his vision of the newcomer. Credence was in tears, visibly lost, and Louise held him against her, his little trembling body surrounded by her maternal arms, her cheek resting on the top of his skull as she sang him this lullaby.

_Little one when you play_

_Don't you mind what you say_

_Let those eyes sparkle and shine_

_Never a tear, baby of mine_

He could see Louise distinctly looking up at him, reaching her hand in his direction before he walked into the room, taking her fingers between his own. He saw her smiling lovingly at him as Credence calmed down gently against her, lulled by her gentleness, reassured by her embrace.

_From your head to your toes_

_You're not much, goodness knows_

_But you're so precious to me_

_Cute as can be, baby of mine_

Credence was "baby mine", a terrified little creature who had always taken care to hold back his tears to protect Percy... Percival turned to Credence, his whole body shaken with sobs. He wanted to tell him that he remembered, that he hadn't forgotten everything, that this song meant something to him too. He wanted the younger one to come closer to him, to reach for his hand, to ask him for a hug.

But nothing, Credence was always so composed, his gaze fixed on Louise's photo, his eyes dry, his hands serenely placed on his legs. And it was finally Seraphina who, at the end of the ceremony, took Percival in her arms to calm him down, to help him find his breath through his suffering. Louise was gone, and Credence had never seemed so far away. Not even despair could remove Percy's need to make him understand how sorry he was, how wrong he had been, how much he wanted to hold him against him. He was sorry, and he was going to have to live with that...

* * *

A few hours later, or rather a few eternities of suffering later, they were all gathered in Louise and Albert's house. The children were playing in the garden, the people present were chatting among themselves, recalling beautiful memories with the Graves couple. Percival didn't know how many times he had heard " _You look so much like your father_ " today. But it was a compliment, so he never took it badly. He was just far too tired to let it show. Despite his exhaustion, he was happy that there were people in this house, he was too afraid of the silence and loneliness to come.

After talking for a while with some of his father's college friends, Percy walked over to Mary and Tina, who were obviously doing their best to support his father's sister Jody Graves. Her father's sister and not his aunt, for the simple reason that this woman was not part of his family. She was a parasite, a bitter, mean, stingy and selfish person. His mother had always called her " the other bitch," and that was not going to change with him. She had come here hoping to get a piece of the inheritance back, no doubt, and for the time being, it was the Goldsteins who had been forced to talk to her.

Percival was right behind her, when she said, in her unpleasant and pretentious voice:

"It's tragic to see that after all she did for him, he didn't even shed a tear. "

She was talking about Credence... That bitch was talking about Credence! He had remained calm until now, but God knew that he would have loved to pour all his anger on her. No one was talking badly about Credence, no one! Especially not her!

"What did you just say?" he asked in a scathing tone.

She turned to him, obviously surprised to see him there, when she was the one who had no right to be here. Credence had been too benevolent in his decision to inform her of Louise's death and the time of the ceremony. She deserved to choke on the glass of fruit juice she was holding so ridiculously between her index finger and thumb. Mary put one hand on Graves' shoulder, trying to soothe him as he boiled from the inside.

"Percy, this isn't the time," she said gently.

But he didn't want to be polite with her, even less so when this bitch allowed herself to judge Credence that way! She did not know him, she did not know how he reacted, how much he was able to take on him, how much he was able to sacrifice himself for others! She didn't know.

"Shut your mouth Jody!" he said venomously. "My father despised you and my mother hated you! Everybody knows you're here to look good for the legacy. You're not even worthy to say the name Credence. "

Jody's jaw dropped so low that Percy thought for a moment it would fall to the ground. Next to her, Tina also seemed surprised by Graves' words, as if she didn't expect such violence in his words, such coldness. The astonishment gave way to anger on Jody's face.

"You don’t have to show so much disrespect. " she took offense.

Graves made a sudden movement in her direction and the horrible woman had a small startle, as if she was afraid that Percival would throw her out. And he incredibly wanted to, but Mary was right, it wasn't the time, and he wouldn't give Jody the opportunity to make a scene in front of everyone.

"You're the disrespectful one," he said coldly. "Your presence is disrespectful! Don't ever talk about Credence in front of me again. "

"Percy, she's not worth it. " Mary intervened again.

No, she wasn't worth it, she didn't deserve his time or his anger. He moved away from her, staring at her, and just as Jody was about to say something back to him, her face red with fury, a crash in the next room caught his attention. Percival quickly moved away from his father's sister, followed by Tina and Mary, to join Credence in the kitchen. He had dropped a porcelain dish on the floor, and both baked goods and sharp pieces had spilled over the floor tiles. And it didn't really matter, he could have just taken the broom and put everything in the garbage. He could have just thrown it all away and carried on as if nothing had happened. It shouldn't have had that much importance and impact.

But Credence didn't react like that, he let himself fall to his knees on the floor, and started picking up the porcelain pieces, repeating a litany of excuses, a nervous smile on his lips, as if he wasn't really himself anymore. There was something trembling, restrained, trapped in his voice. Something that sounded strangely like the way he had spoken to Percival before the famous argument in the living room, before he broke, before he exploded... Percy walked around the table to get behind him. Mary crouched in front of him, trying in vain to get his attention.

"Credence, darling, leave it, you'll hurt yourself. " she said softly.

He shook his head, continuing his frenetic gestures, his trembling hands always letting fall what he managed to recuperate. Percival approached gently, crouching behind him, far enough away so as not to upset him. He was about to shatter, and it was horribly painful to watch. It was excruciating to see him struggle against his pain so violently that he almost seemed insane. But he needed that, he needed to explode so his feelings wouldn't eat him up inside.

"It's okay, I just... I just have to... I just have to clean it up, I'm going to do it right. " He said to Mary.

"Cree, stop, it's okay. " Tina tried.

He raised a strange look at her, as if he wasn't himself anymore, as if he was getting lost in his own mind and had forgotten everything around him. The porcelain cut into his skin, without him making a sound of pain, and drops of blood joined the food on the floor. But despite his injuries, Credence continued to bring the broken dish back to him, hurting himself more, repeating several times, with a smile full of tears:

"I'm going to do it right, I promise. "

Percival came a little closer, slowly putting one hand on his shoulder.

"Credence, you're hurting yourself... " he said softly.

He turned towards him, his eyes wide open, looking over his shoulder, tears rolling down his cheeks. He was at his breaking point, the point where he was going to release everything he had held on since Louise's death. For not once had he allowed himself to cry, to scream, to tear himself apart. He had remained silent, sitting quietly next to Graves, listening to him suffer, reassuring him, standing there so that Percival could collapse. It was time to reverse the roles, it was time to take care of Credence, to let him scream, struggle and cry. His breathing was wheezy, hieratic, and he looked at Percy without really seeing him when he said one last time:

"I'm going to do it right... I'm going to do it right, I swear it, I'm going to do it right... "

Graves passed an arm around his shoulders, trying to bring him back against him. Credence's face suddenly changed, giving way to something furious, a new glow in his eyes, the one he had had before he sent the purchases to his face. He could hit him, scream atrocities at him, Percy would stand there without flinching, taking the blows. If it would allow Credence to free his mind, he would willingly sacrifice himself.

Credence suddenly pushed him away, trying to pick up the broken porcelain again with his bloody hands. Percy knelt down for balance, then put his arms around him to bring him back to his chest.

"Credence, stop. " He tried.

"Don't touch me!" he said angrily, poisonous, pressing hard on his chest to force him to let go.

He began to struggle like a madman, almost hitting Percy in the face several times. Tina was in tears in front of the scene, realizing her friend's suffering and unable to know what to do.

"Credence, it's okay..." said Percival in a calm voice.

"Don't touch me!" he shouted suddenly. "Let go of me! "

He drummed on his chest, writhing in Graves' arms in an uncomfortable position, hitting his shoulders. Percy managed to grab his wrists, holding him close, Credence's back against his chest. He took the youngest's elbow strokes, his anger, his fury, without saying a word. He took it because it was what he should have done from the beginning, because Credence, the wonderful and tender Credence, desperately needed it.

"It's okay, let it go," he repeated.

"Let go of me!" he shouted, his cry echoing throughout the room and the rest of the house.

Then, after a heart-rending cry, which tore Percival's heart and mind to pieces, he gradually let himself fall, cowering over himself, his whole body shaken with violent sobs, his arms clasping his own torso. Percy's grip was lighter as he brought him close to him again, resting his head on his shoulder, kissing his hair. He couldn't help crying in front of such a sight, it was so painful, yet necessary if Credence wanted to rebuild himself.

"Let yourself go, it's okay... " he reassured him, rocking him as best he could.

"I failed... I failed... " he sobbed.

And God it was hard to hear... It was so difficult, so violent. Percy felt his heart spill into dust. How could he think that? How could anyone so perfect, so wonderful, think that? After all he had done, all he had gone through...

"No, Credence, of course not!" he said finally, his voice trembling but convinced.

Credence moved against him, straightening himself up enough to put his arms around his neck, holding him tightly as Percy embraced his waist. He had waited so long for this embrace, the one that would make him feel like he existed, that he was needed. He had waited all his life to be understood and to fully understand someone. And that person was Credence. And he wasn't going to let him down.

"I thought I could save her..." the younger one cried. "I thought that if I fought hard enough, she would stay... and I failed... I'm sorry. "

Percy closed his eyes, tightening his grip around him, as if he was afraid he would leave or disappear into thin air. And on his back he felt Credence's thin fingers grasping his jacket, as if he was his only link to reality.

"I never... I never managed to call her "mom" ... I couldn't call her "mom" ... I didn't deserve her ... I'm sorry, I'm so sorry ... I let her down, I failed ... "

Percival pulled him away from him so that he could look him in the eyes. He framed his face with his hands forcing him to look at him through his tears. Credence had not been able to call Louise "mother" because that word had been given to another woman, to a monster, and that terrified him. He didn't call her "mother" because the word had been soiled, mistreated, distorted. But that didn't change the fact that he had been and would always remain Louise's son, "baby mine", the little boy with brown curls that she had loved at first sight, that she had chosen to raise and keep by her side all those years. So Percy couldn't let him think otherwise, he couldn't let him believe in the nightmare and fear that kept telling him that he was weak, that it was all his fault...

"Credence, she loved you! She loved you so much, and even if you couldn't tell her, she knew! She knew, Credence, don't doubt it for a second. You did not fail. You never did. Do you hear me? Never! "

But Credence shook his head, denying what Graves was trying to tell him, closing his eyes to escape Percival's dark irises. His hands detached from Percy's jacket, and his arms slipped off, his hands falling softly back onto his legs. He let himself fall completely against Graves, exhausted by all the emotions he had finally expressed, at the end of his strength, trembling like a leaf, his body shaking with those nervous bursts that are inherent to the aftershocks of crying. 

"I stole her from you, I stole her from you and in the end I didn't even save her... " he sobbed. "It should have been me... It should have been me... I'm in too much pain, oh my God, I'm in so much pain. "

Percival closed his arms around him, ready to protect him from the whole world. He raised his gaze, looking around him. There were many pairs of eyes on them, and Percy needed to take care of Credence, to heal his hands, to reassure him, to comfort him. He turned to Mary who was kneeling in front of them, her cheeks streaked with tears. Tina was still standing beside her, tetanized by her friend's suffering. Credence made a plaintive sound against him, vaguely resembling a sob.

Graves passed one arm under his knees, another around his shoulders, before getting up, carrying Credence's slender body against him. The younger one let his head rest on his shoulder, and his arms wrapped around his neck again, still refusing to open his eyes. Or perhaps he was so exhausted from his tearful fit that he was half conscious of the world around him. Percy put a kiss on his temple before addressing his mother's best friend:

"Mary, can I ask you to... "

"Yes, of course my darling. " she interrupted him, waving to him to go upstairs. "Take care of him. " she simply added.

And without another word, Percival carried Credence to his room, ignoring the worried and intrigued looks cast on them. He sat him on the bed, removing his tie and shoes to make him more comfortable, repeating reassuring words. The younger one gently swayed, his eyes still shedding tears, but he was too tired to really continue crying. Percy straightened up to leave for the bathroom, but Credence's hand closed around his wrist, squeezing it as hard as his meager strength would allow.

"Please don't go, please... " he begged.

He had no intention of leaving him. Percy bent down to place a tender kiss on his forehead and said in a reassuring smile:

"I'm just going to get some stuff for your hands, I'll be right back. I promise... "

"No... "

"I'll be back in a second. "

Credence freed his wrist, reluctantly removing his fingers, and after a second kiss on his forehead, Percival left to fetch the first aid kit and a damp towel from the next room, before returning as quickly as possible. He knelt down in front of Credence, carefully cleaning his injured hands, ignoring the blood stains on their clothes. Then he disinfected the wounds before bandaging them. The cuts weren't deep, but Percy was having trouble stopping the bleeding. After the healing was complete, he took each of Credence's hands in turn to his lips and placed a kiss in the palm. He raised his eyes to his exhausted face and placed his fingers on one of his cheeks.

"Do you want to sleep? " he asked.

Credence nodded softly, his eyes already half closed, and Graves helped him to lie down, pulling the blankets up over him to tuck him in as best he could. Then he crouched down beside the bed, caressing the youngest's hair. It may have been strange, but now that Credence had externalized what he was feeling, Percy felt incredibly liberated. His mother's death was still a burden, clutching his heart in an icy grip, but he no longer felt alone, and he had someone to protect.

"Do you need anything?" he said quietly.

"Stay, please..." he murmured.

And how could Percival have denied him that, he who had waited so long for Credence to need him as much as he had become dependent on his presence. Percy took off his shoes, jacket and tie before settling down next to the younger one. He remained half seated with his upper back resting against the head of the bed, and as soon as he lay down, Credence took refuge against him. He put his head on his stomach, his arm around his waist. Graves froze for a few moments, then he began to caress the black curls again, and little by little, Credence sank into sleep, his body lifted at regular intervals by a soothing breath. There was still some noise on the first floor, and maybe it would have been better to go back down and talk to all the people who had come to honor the memory of Albert and Louise, but for the moment, he just wanted to stay calm, with Credence, reassure in this comforting embrace after the storms they had gone through.

At some point, Graves must have fallen asleep because he woke up with a start when he heard the bedroom door open. He rubbed his eyes with a sigh and Credence moved slightly against him, emitting a sleepy growl, visibly disturbed in his dream. This reaction made him smile before he looked up at Queenie, who had just entered.

"Do you need something?" the beautiful blonde woman whispered.

Percy's throat was a little dry, so after a little throat clearing, he allowed himself to ask:

"Can I ask you for a glass of water? " 

"I'll get it. " she smiled before leaving the room.

Credence moved again, tightening his grip around Percy's waist. Then he had a plaintive sound, before he whimpered, sobbing against Graves' belly.

"Don't go... Don't go... " he said in his sleep.

Percival rested his hand on his hair and this contact snatched a new sob from the youngest as he hugged him a little harder in his arms, lost in a bad dream.

"Don't go away... Don't leave me alone... "

"I'm here, Credence, I'm right here. " he reassured him.

Queenie entered the room again. She handed the glass to Percy, her eyes resting on the crouching body of the young nurse against him. She remained silent for a long time while Percival finished drinking, and then she spoke as soon as he put the glass on the bedside table:

"He cried for months when you left for London... Louise had gotten into the habit of inviting Tina and me to come at least twice a week because he had trouble sleeping. Sometimes he would burst into tears all at once, and he would scream, and your parents had a hard time calming him down. Louise had given him one of your T-shirts, which you had left, as a cuddly toy. Oh honey, he was so sad. "

She ended her revelation with a sad expression, remembering perfectly those long months when her friend had been completely lost. Since the discussion with Louise about the photo, he knew that he had meant something to Credence, that he had been an emotional reference point for him in the past, but it was still disconcerting to hear about it. Percival continued to caress the brown hair, looking at the pale face that was gradually calming down at his touch.

"And then? " he asked Queenie.

She sighed a little before sitting at the end of the bed, thinking about what she would say. Then she explained:

"Little by little, things quietened down. He still talked about you a lot, but it made him less sad. Knowing that you were living somewhere, that you were probably happier away from him, that you were building a life somewhere else, reassured him. And then when you founded MACUSA with Sera and Theo, he would read everything he could find about you, and it was as if you had never really left. He was so afraid to get close to you every time you came back here, and you were always so cold, so distant... "

He grimaced slightly. The way he acted before that fight in March seemed so far away now, as if he hadn't been the one who had wickedly nicknamed Credence the "Cricket" before the name became something affectionate. As if it wasn't him who had avoided him, despised him, found him unbearably perfect.

"I know... " he confessed, unable to avert his eyes from Credence.

"Percy? "

He had to make an effort to be able to look Queenie in the eye. She had a strange expression on her face, as if she could read his thoughts.

"You know he needs you, don't you?" she said next. "He'll never tell you, because he's too afraid to "infect" you, because he's terrified of who he is, and because he's convinced that if Mary Lou and his first boyfriend hurt him so badly, it's because he deserves it, because he has the devil in him. He doesn't think he is worthy of love, and certainly not worthy of you. "

Percival stared at her for a long time. Was that why Credence had asked him to leave after they made love? Because he thought he was bad and didn't deserve Percy? It wasn't to protect himself from him, it was to protect him. And that realization broke his heart. He had been blind... So, so blind... He should never have left Credence that night, he should have stayed, he should have taken care of him, talked to him. Instead, the misunderstanding had gone on for far too long, when they were already torn apart by the coming loss of Louise.

"I thought... I thought he hated me... " he said sadly. "I thought that... After what happened... But I will take care of him now, I swear I will. "

Queenie got up from bed to come and lay a tender hand on his cheek, it was a maternal gesture she had never had for him before, yet he felt that he desperately needed a touch like this.

"Oh Percy, I know you will! " she reassured him. "I know you'll look after him. I'm not telling you this to make you feel guilty, just to confide in you that what has been tormenting you for the past few months has been in his heart for years. Maybe even from day one. "

"I don't deserve him. " he sighed, leaning his cheek against her palm.

"Of course you do. " She smiled. "Just the fact that you think otherwise only goes to prove it further. You have the right to be loved, and you have the right to love him. "

And with those words, she put a kiss on his forehead and walked out the door. And before leaving, she added:

"One last thing: don't let him go. No matter what he might say to you, no matter if he tries to push you away or try to convince you that he's bad, don't let him go. The bond that unites you is not found in every life. And I'm pretty sure Louise knew that too. "

Yes... Yes she knew it, because she had said almost the same thing to him a few hours before she left for the other world. Graves nodded, tears forming in the corner of his eyes. After a small hand gesture, Queenie left the room, gently closing the door behind her. Credence moved again, loosening his arm a little around Percy. The older one lay down completely, intertwining his legs with those of Credence as he moved in his sleep to be comfortable against Percival.

"Credence? " he murmured.

No answer. Graves observed him for a few moments before approaching him to kiss one of his cheeks at the corner of his lips. The younger one gently pushed him away, twisting himself into the sheets before turning and pressing his back against Percy's torso, as if the loss of contact was unthinkable. Percival passed his arms around him, bringing him even closer, breathing in his scent, spooning him tenderly.

Then he called him again, and Credence slowly began to leave the world of dreams. He didn't open his eyes, only breathing a faint :

"Hm? "

It was time to be brave, to open his heart, to stop running away from his feelings like a coward under the pretext that he was not good enough for Credence. He was going to take care of him, he was going to make him happy, he promised.

"Would you come with me? " he asked.

"Where?" he said, his voice slightly hoarse from fatigue.

"Would you come live in New York with me? "

Against him, he felt all the muscles of Credence stretch with apprehension, then, in a gesture made slow by anguish, the youngest turned towards him, eyes wide open, hands trembling.

"Percy, what are you doing? "

"I love you, I want you to come and live with me in New York. " he explained.

There, it was said. It had been put there with a clumsiness full of emotion. Credence suddenly moved away from him, straightening himself up to kneel at the end of the bed, as far away from him as possible. He looked terrified and almost burst into tears again. And this distance seemed to tear at every part of Percival's body and mind.

"I thought... I thought I didn't really matter to you... " Credence stammered. "I thought we shared this on impulse and it didn't mean anything to you... I thought you wouldn't want me. There's something fucked up inside me, something bad, Percy. If I hadn't kissed you... If I hadn't pushed you to... If it's pity or guilt, you... "

"No, that's not it!" he cut him off, straightening up quickly. "I want to live with you! And there's nothing wrong with you, Credence. God, you're so perfect... "

He made a gesture in his direction, but Credence stepped aside, as if he was suddenly afraid that Percival might touch him. So he did not insist, sitting against the headboard, waiting for the younger one to find the courage to speak. A tear rolled down Credence's cheek as he spoke:

"Don't break my heart... " he begged. "Please, have mercy Percy, I'm already in so much pain... I know I made a mistake, I know it's my fault what happened between us, I know you have every reason to hate me, but don't break my heart like that... "

Graves frowned. Why did he think he wanted to hurt him? Did he really think Percival was trying to get revenge? How could he not see how much he loved him, how much he wanted him, how much he wished that Credence was his future? If there was anyone that Percival was angry at, it was himself, his stubbornness, his blindness.

"Credence, what are you... "

"I used your suffering! " he interrupted him, now really crying. "I used you, I abused your compassion because I wanted you so desperately. And it was still me instead of you, as it always has been, because I am selfish and you were far too wonderful to push me away. You don't owe me anything Percy, you don't owe me anything... "

Percival approached quickly, giving him no time to escape as he framed his face with his hands to force him to look into his eyes when he said :

"I want you! I want you! I love you! I love you like I've never loved anyone before! And it drives me crazy to think that I could have loved you like that all these years and that I've been running away from you all the time! I want you with me, in my life, in my arms. Don't you love me? "

"Don't you know that I do? " he sobbed. "Don't you know how I feel? Don't play with me... Not on this, don't play, I beg you. "

He was so caught up in his suffering, so convinced he was worthless, that it was impossible for him to hear what Graves was trying to tell him. And it sounded strangely like his own behavior. He needed him, God he needed Credence, and he would never let him go, ever.

"Don't you trust me?" Percy asked. "Why do you doubt me? "

"Because it can't be true! You can't want me! Not knowing what I am, there's something rotten in me, there's... "

The end of his sentence died against Percival's lips. The kiss was full of love, filled with all that Graves had best in him, filled with his feelings and all that he really meant to the youngest. Credence tried to push him away at first, before giving himself over entirely to the kiss, putting his arms around his neck to bring him closer to him. They parted when they ran out of air, and Percy placed his forehead on his, their breaths mixing as he kept his eyes closed.

"I love you, and I don't want to go on living far from you..." he confessed when his breathing was calm enough. "You are my missing piece, the piece I needed to feel complete, to feel alive. I wasn't alone, I was simply alone without you. Don't you think that what you feel in your heart, I feel the same way in mine? I spent 17 years thinking that I was wicked, bad, rotten inside, and it's only with you that this feeling goes away. I can't promise you that I'll be perfect, because I'm not, but I can promise you that I would never hurt you, that I will protect you and love you for as long as you want me, and even after that... Please come with me. Please... "

Credence moved aside slightly, passing his fingers under his chin to force Percival to look at him. His eyes shone with tears, a beautiful smile on his face, and Percival fell a little more in love with him in front of the expression of adoration and liberation he showed.

"You love me?" he murmured, as if this realization was still hard for him to understand.

"I swear it. "

Credence captured his lips, kissing him as no one had ever done before. Percival felt precious, desired, important, marvelous, expected. When he ended the kiss, Credence settled on Percy's thighs, surrounding him with his whole body, his arms around his neck, his legs around his waist, his face buried against his shoulder.

"Of all the men you could have had... "

"I choose you!" interrupted Graves, his voice sounding desperate. "I want you, I want you to be mine and I want to belong to you. Tell me you want me and I'll be yours, heart and soul."

A kiss was placed in his neck, then on his jaw, his cheek, before one last one caressed his mouth. Then Credence looked at him attentively, his eyes continuing to cry as he kept that happy smile on his tired face. After a long silence, he simply said:

"You'll have to live with my cooking and my changing moods. "

Percival's heart missed a beat. He agreed... He agreed to share his life, to let him make him happy, to let him love him... He accepted, and Percy would never again be alone, never again abandoned, never again misunderstood. It was his turn to break into tears.

"Will you come with me?" he cried. "Would you accept me into your life? "

"Oh, Percy, of course I would... I have loved you for so long. "

And that was all he needed to hear, all he needed to know. Credence was his future, his redemption, his return to the surface, his coming back to life. They were going to rebuild themselves, to support each other, to love each other. He suddenly held him so tightly that he was almost afraid of hurting him, but Credence was content to give him back his embrace, sighing with relief against him.

"Thank you..." Percy murmured. "Thank you, I'm going to make things right, I swear. "

Louise must certainly have been looking at them with a smile on her face at that moment: they would forever be her eternity. Not everything would be beautiful and radiant, not everything would be perfect and colorful, simple and sweet. Some days might be difficult, especially those to come. But at least they would have the certainty of belonging to each other, they would understand each other, they would support each other and they would move forward, together, hearts and hands bound. And they would love each other... They would love each other so much...

* * *

**_5 years later_ **

Credence was dreaming. He knew it because the sea was making a funny noise and he didn't understand why the wind was obstinately pulling on his shirt. He didn't want to leave the world of dreams, he was comfortable in this sunny universe where the waves were licking his feet. He made a sound of protest as his vision of the beach gradually gave way to the black behind his eyelids. Someone kept pulling at his pajama top. But he didn't want to wake up, he wanted to sleep, especially after the wonderful night he had spent with Percival... Oh God, Percy was so perfect, and it was as if he knew every part of his body that could make him leave the ground and fly to the heavens. Someone pulled harder on his shirt before a little voice came out:

"Da? Da? "

Credence opened one eye. Modesty looked upset. She was adorable with her blonde hair tousled all over, wearing her green nightgown inside out. Credence smiled tenderly, waking up completely, laying a hand on her cheek.

"What's wrong, baby? " he asked.

"Pa is trying to make pancakes, it smells really weird," she confessed.

And indeed, now that she said it, it smelled like it was burning up to here. Even after 5 years of living together, Percy was still unable to cook on his own. That was part of his charm, especially when he was desperately trying to prepare something for Credence.

"I'm coming. " he smiled

Modesty placed a loud kiss on his cheek before running to the kitchen. The day they had met Mo at the orphanage, it had been love at first sight. She had come straight to them, reaching out to Percival to carry her. She was only 5 years old at the time, and they were told afterwards about the first difficult years of her life. Years that were atrociously similar to those of Credence's childhood. So it was obvious for Credence why she felt the need to run to Percy and ask him to hold her and protect her. Percival's status had allowed their case to be accepted relatively quickly, and a year later, little Modesty came to live with them.

She hardly spoke at first, contenting herself with a few words when it was really necessary. She rarely cried, and tried to make as little noise as possible. For the first few months, she remained very discreet, as if she was trying to be forgotten, for fear of being rejected if she took the slightest step aside.

She liked to spend time listening to Credence play the piano, watching him dance, half hidden behind a wall or a piece of furniture. Percy had been amazing, as he had always been, finding more and more ideas to get her out of her silence, to reassure her, to make her laugh too. Credence still distinctly remembered the evening when she came to him and said, "Credence, would you agree to teach me the piano? He must have really refrained from crying, he was so happy.

After that, things had become simpler, and little by little Modesty had started calling them Da and Pa, singing in her room, talking about everything that was going on at school, doing nonsense too, but nothing really serious or mean, just sweet and futile little things that reminded them that she was just a child. At the age of eight, Modesty was incredibly smart, but most of all she was adorable, kind and generous.

Percival always made sure that she was able to express her emotions and feelings, and he did the same with Credence. This was sometimes disconcerting, especially when they argued and the younger one tried to run away from the conversation. Percy had the gift of pushing him, without ever rushing him or hurting him, until he snapped and was able to tell him what he was thinking. Graves had taught him to be imperfect, to let himself go, to say out loud when something didn't feel right or when he was upset about something. It may sound silly, but Percy had taught him to cry, laugh, get angry, be afraid, feel and let it all out without the constant fear of being bad, wicked, wrong or ridiculous. 

After a little sigh, Credence finally left the bed and headed to the kitchen. The smell was indeed unpleasant and Modesty gave him a begging look as he entered the room. He had to refrain from bursting out laughing at her disgusted grimace. He quickly moved forward to open one of the windows before standing behind Percival to hug his waist.

"Oh, blimey!" the older man grumbled.

"What are you trying to do?" he asked, holding back an amused grin in front of the poor pancake that looked like nothing in the pan.

"A breakfast, can't you tell? Oh my God, why is it that when you make it, it always looks so simple?" he complained. "Modesty, I think I told you to not wake up your father. "

"But it smelled too weird! " she defended herself.

And Percy grimaced. He couldn't really prove her wrong. He turned to Credence, a radiant smile stretching his lips as soon as his eyes rested on his face. It awakened a swarm of butterflies in the youngest's belly as he placed his mouth against his.

"Hello my love. " Credence murmured.

"Hello, my husband. " Percy replied.

A crystalline laugh passed his lips. It had taken less than six months for Percival to propose. And while at first Credence may have thought it was a bit hasty, he quickly realized that his whole world revolved around Percy, and that it made no sense to refuse to spend the rest of his life with him. From the day Credence had said **_yes_** to him in front of all their friends, Graves hadn't missed an opportunity to call him "my husband," rolling the words around on his tongue as if he was savoring the texture.

"You like repeating that, don't you?" the younger one smiled.

"I'll never get tired of it, Credence Graves. "

They exchanged another kiss, before Modesty intervened with a :

"Yuck. "

They parted smiling, then Percival said:

"Go and wash your hands Modesty, instead of grumbling. "

"You are disgusting!" she shouted as she stepped out of her chair and trotted to the sink.

"We'll talk about it again in 10 years... " Credence laughed.

"10 years?" Percy repeated. "In 15 years you mean! "

The nurse kissed him on the cheek.

"Don't talk like an old man," he said.

"I am an old man... "

"No, 39 is not old, Percy. And I love you, and I will definitely take care of this breakfast before we have to call the fire department. "

Percival sighed with relief, abandoning the pan and its... contents (had that thing ever been edible before?), in an overly theatrical gesture that made his husband laugh. Then he sat down in his usual chair, leaning back on the central worktop, his eyes fixed on Credence who was busy saving the breakfast. The younger one noticed his insistent gaze and felt himself blushing to the roots of his hair.

"What? " he asked.

"I love you," Percy replied simply.

He blushed a little more. His heart still couldn't get used to that kind of spontaneous statement, although God knew how Graves kept telling him over and over again that he was in love with him.

"I love you too. "

"And me?" Modesty frowned, putting her fists on her hips.

"You too, little monkey! " Credence giggled.

A few minutes later, the three of them were seated around the dining room table to eat, Percival tenderly keeping one of Credence's hands in his. Modesty was halfway through her third pancake when she said:

"Ca’ we gosee Ela his aftewnoon? "

"We don't talk with our mouths full, Modesty Graves. " Percy gently reprimanded her.

She hastened to finish her bite before wiping her mouth in her napkin and politely repeating her question:

"Can we go see Ela this afternoon, Pa d'amour? "

Two years after Modesty's arrival, Theo and Sera had been blessed with a wonderful little girl, whom they had chosen to name Ela. And their daughter was literally fascinated by this child, she never missed an opportunity to see her or play with her, and it was really lovely to see.

"Didn't you want to go to the park this afternoon? " Graves asked.

"Can we go to the park with Ela this afternoon? " she suggested.

She had bright eyes, a huge smile on her face, making sweet eyes at her father to get him to agree. Credence laughed softly, biting the inside of his cheek so he wouldn't burst out laughing at the little angel-like expression she had. Percival frowned, pretending to think about it and saying :

"Hmmm, do you think you've been good enough? "

"Oh, Pa, please, please, please, please!" she insisted. "I tidied my room and did all my homework! Auntie Sera said I could see her whenever I wanted, and Uncle Theo always buys me cotton candy! "

"I knew it!" Credence exclaimed, almost startling his daughter and husband. "Theseus is infernal! Every time she walks in with her sticky mouth and hands and he looks at me with his innocent face and pretends not to know where it comes from! Modesty, never act like your uncle! "

"Saying that cotton candy is a piece of heaven because it tastes like clouds?"

He stared at her for a long time, blinking his eyelids several times. He sighed in exasperation, pouring himself some more tea before saying in an annoyed tone :

"Ah, and he's adorable on top of that! It's so frustrating! "

Modesty seemed confused by his answer and Graves chuckled before laughing openly when Credence shot him with his eyes.

"It throws you off balance, doesn't it Cricket?" he mocked.

Credence withdrew his hand from his to show he was vexed, taking refuge in his tea mug. Percy bent down to place a kiss on his temple, caressing his forearm with his fingertips to try to get his attention again. Their daughter cleared her throat loudly before saying :

"So, can we go to the park with Ela? "

"I will send a message to Sera. Go get your clothes ready, little monkey. I'll come and do your hair. " Percival said.

She literally jumped out of her chair and hung around his neck as if it were the most beautiful news in the world. Then she walked away, shouting joyfully:

"Thank you, Pa, you're the best in the world!"

"What about me?" Credence asked, disappointed to be left out.

Modesty returned running back to her steps to come and place a loud kiss on his cheek before assuring him with a big smile:

"You know you're unbeatable, Da! I love you! "

Then she disappeared into her room singing. Credence stood still for a few moments before his hands began to shake. He placed his cup on the table for fear of spilling it, and before he could hold it back, tears began to roll down his cheeks. He had a choked hiccup and tried to hide this wave of emotion but was unable to do so. He felt pathetic when he was overwhelmed by his feelings like that. Percy immediately turned to him, framing his face with a worried look in his eyes.

"Credence? Credence, my love, why are you crying? "

As if he didn't know! Everything was perfect, everything was so incredibly perfect, and he still couldn't get used to this feeling of absolute happiness. And it was all thanks to him. He owed him so much.

"I'm happy... I'm so happy... I love you so much, Percy. "

Graves bent over to cover his face with kisses, wiping tears with his thumbs before drawing him towards him so that Credence could sit on his legs. He cowered against him, savoring his husband's tender embrace.

"You are the love of my life, and if you don't stop, you're going to make me cry too. " Percival smiled.

"I'm sorry…"

Percy framed his face again to force him to look into his eyes. And God, those eyes... He had fallen for him before he even knew what love really was, too young and fragile to even put words to his feelings, and 22 years later, he was still falling for Percival.

"Never apologize for what you feel, you are so beautiful when you allow yourself to express your feelings. "

"Do you mean it? "

"You know I do. Or have you already forgotten about last night?" Percy replied with an eyebrow raised.

Credence leaned towards him, his lips a few inches from his own, as he said in a seductive voice:

"I think I need a reminder... "

"Oh really?" Percy smiled before capturing his lips in a passionate kiss.

He felt like he was losing his mind every time the older one kissed him like that. It was intoxicating, addictive, magical, vibrating with sensation. And Credence lost all his faculties every time, loosing every notion of what time it was or where he was.

"I chose my dress!" Modesty suddenly shouted from her room. "Pa, you can come see and do my hair instead of making wet kisses! "

With a small laugh, Percival moved away from Credence, happy to see that the younger one was following the movement of his face in a slightly confused state. He put a quick kiss on the tip of his nose.

"I guess it'll have to wait until tonight... " he grinned.

"I love you. I love you so much." Credence murmured, still lost in what he had just felt.

Percy took possession of his mouth one last time, caressing his cheeks with love.

"I love you. " He replied then, looking at Credence as if he was the most wonderful thing in the world.

"Pa! " Modesty insisted, visibly displeased.

"I'm coming! " he said joyfully.

Credence got up to let him go, and his husband rushed to join their daughter. With a smile he went to their room to choose his clothes before slipping into the bathroom. He stayed under the hot water for a long time, trying not to think too much about the possibility that Percy might come and join him. When he left the room, her husband walked in, kissing him on the lips. Credence offered Modesty to come and play the piano with him while Percival finished getting ready, and she gladly accepted.

They played the piece "Heart and Soul" together under the benevolent gaze of Louise and Albert, whose picture was placed on top of the instrument. Credence had put it there, believing that it was as if he was still playing for them. And it was reassuring to think that they were watching over him and little Modesty. She looked lovely with her little white wool tights and her red dress. Percy had styled her hair in two braids ending with a ribbon. Mo was an angel fallen from heaven.

When Percy was ready, everyone put on their coats, and Credence was careful to put on his daughter's hat and scarf. The November wind could sometimes be treacherous.

"Ready my captain?" Percival then asked Modesty.

"Ready sailor!" she answered joyfully. "Let's go to the boarding of the park! "

Their apartment was only a few blocks from Central Parc, and they arrived fairly soon at their usual meeting point with Sera and Theo. The sun lulled the landscape with light, and in despite the fine mist passing his lips, Credence wasn't especially cold. That didn't stop him from sighing at ease and feeling his shoulders relax as Percival put an arm around him. As soon as she saw Seraphina and the stroller, Modesty let go of her father's hand and ran to join them.

"Mo, don't run too far! " Credence warned her.

His daughter waved her hand before crouching down in front of Ela to be able to contemplate her with this delightful childish adoration. Credence and Percival quickly joined the small group. Modesty tenderly caressed the cheeks of the little girl who laughed out loud, reaching out her arms towards her, visibly happy to see her again.

"Aww. She's so beautiful!" the little blonde girl exclaimed. "She's the most beautiful in the world! "

"I guess I'll have to wait for a hello..." Seraphina sighed.

"Yes, that's what it's like to have given birth to a little wonder. And it's going to take some getting used to, because you have a star on the way. " Percy laughed as he pointed to his best friend's swollen belly again.

She gave him a tight smile before saying a silent " _shut up_ " to Percival. Theseus appeared beside her, hugging her tenderly from behind before placing his chin on her shoulder.

"How are you? " he asked.

Percy turned to Credence, giving him the inimitable love look before answering sincerely:

"Well... Everything is very good. "

"Theseus I know about cotton candy..." Credence sighed, crossing his arms to give himself some composure.

He wasn't really angry with him, so he wasn't really convincing. Theo stood away from his wife, feigning astonishment before saying with a smile :

"I have no idea what you're talking about... "

Credence looked up to the sky. Seraphina gave Theseus a small slap on the back of the head before he complained about the violence she was showing him. Modesty took the opportunity to attack him, jumping on him suddenly. Percy willingly joined her, and soon the three moved away to play together, with Modesty on her father's back commanding the attacks against Theo. Credence contemplated the scene with a smile on his face. He felt light, whole, happy. Never in his dreams had he allowed himself to imagine such a perfect life for him.

Seraphina leaned over to ask him, amused:

"Do you think they are making an effort to play with her, or is it the other way around? "

"I'm pretty sure it's the other way around. " Credence giggled.

If at first his relationship with Sera had been complicated, largely because she was trying to protect Percy tooth and nail and Credence had the impression that she was rejecting him without knowing him, things were much simpler today. They had made an effort, and the love they had for Percival had ended up bringing them closer rather than driving them apart. Credence had been extremely present for her during her first pregnancy, and there had been a sense of understanding and gratitude left over from those months of support, expressed without a word. He turned to her to discover her shining eyes on him.

"What? " he asked.

A tear rolled down Seraphina's cheek and she quickly wiped it off, ashamed to be surprised by her emotions.

"Nothing... " she said. "Nothing, it's the hormones I think... "

"Sera, are you crying? I'm sorry, did I do something? "

"No, of course not Credence. " she reassured him by putting a hand on his shoulder. "Actually, you did something: you gave life back to one of the most important men in my life. You make him happy, you make him feel loved and safe, and I'll be eternally grateful for that. "

It was moving to hear, and he was still not used to that kind of thanks. He felt that he was the one who should be indebted, that he was the lucky man, the one who had been brought back to life.

"He saved me, I owe him everything. So I guess he's going to have to put up with me for the rest of his life. "

She nodded, turning her attention back to Percival and Theo, who continued to play with Modesty, laughing like children.Graves must have felt Sera and Credence's eyes on him as he turned to them. His expression of amusement gradually gave way to something touching, beautiful, tender and deep when he smiled at Credence. The heart of the youngest one raced in his chest as he felt a wave of love enveloping his whole being.

"Put up with you, eh? It doesn't seem to bother him, look at him with his face of a blessed, transfixed lover. " Seraphina mocked gently.

Percy exchanged a few words with Theo before trotting back to his best friend and husband.

"What are you talking about in your corner?" he asked as he reached them.

"What are you meddling with, Percy joli?" Sera said.

Graves placed himself behind Credence, hugging his waist to bring him close to him, holding him tight. The younger one put his hands on top of his, savoring the kisses that Percy placed on his cheek and jaw.

"You're going to suffocate him eventually. " Seraphina sighed.

"Jealous!" Percy replied with a smile.

And like the good adults they were, they stuck out their tongues. Credence looked up to the sky, but he still let his head rest in the hollow of Percival's neck behind him. Theo joined them with Modesty, happily proposing:

"Shall we have a sushi night with Tina and Newt next weekend? They come back from Australia this week and they spend a fortnight in the area. "

"Yes with pleasure. " Credence smiled.

Percy bent down to whisper in his ear:

"Does he know that you've already been planning this with Tina for a month? "

"Shh, I don't want to upset him. " he replied in the same tone, and Percival giggled.

Before the other couple could ask them what they were talking about, little Modesty pulled vigorously on Theseus' sleeve to ask nicely:

"Theo, can I have a cotton candy, please? "

Graves' best friend raised a blushing face towards Credence, who raised an eyebrow, before answering the little girl a very unconvincing:

"I don't know what you're talking about either. "

"Oh, for God's sake, give the man an Oscar!" Seraphina exasperated herself.

Theo placed a quick kiss on his wife's lips, visibly satisfied to see her blush. He took Modesty's hand in his, smiling.

"Come with me, little flower, we're going to eat clouds! "

They trotted away, and the rest of the group followed them, waiting next to the stand until Mo could get her candy. In the stroller, Ela got agitated, unhappy to have been left aside during all this time.Then she raised her brown eyes to Credence who looked at her with tenderness and amusement, and in an expression of sincere joy, she reached out to him, waving her chubby little hands in the air.

"Can I... Can I take her? " he asked Sera.

"Yes, of course!" she exclaimed, as if the question did not arise.

She untied her daughter before taking her in her arms to give her to Credence. He brought her against him, being extremely careful how he held her. She was still so small, so fragile. He cradled her against him and he felt the tears come to his eyes when Ela huddled up against him, closing her eyes, visibly reassured and soothed in his arms.

"Are you okay?" Percy asked, replacing one of his brown curls behind his ear.

Credence smiled at him. Percival was truly an angel, always watching over him, ensuring his happiness and well-being. Always protecting Mo, offering her the best and doing everything possible to ensure that she lacked nothing. He kissed him delicately, leaving his husband visibly shaky from this exchange that lasted only a moment.

"Let me think: I am with the man of my dreams, with my daughter and my friends, holding a beautiful child. I can say that everything is going pretty well. And it's your fault that I'm on the verge of crying, you're the one who taught me how to express my emotions, and now I'm a real fountain! "

Seraphina had a little chuckle, obviously thinking of a way to twist that last sentence into a salacious joke, as she often did, but before she could make a remark, Modesty's voice was heard:

"Auntie Sera, can you come and choose with me? "

They looked in her direction and Mo had a tender expression when she saw the little girl in her father's arms.

"My duty as an auntie calls me. " Sera announced before leaving them with Ela.

Percival looked up to the sky, gazing for a long time at the passing clouds. He seemed lost in his thoughts and memories, and Credence knew that all too well. He had often seen him lose himself in his mind, staring outside or at the pictures of their parents, silent, wandering. In those moments, only the arms of the younger one around him seemed to bring him back to reality. Credence put his head on his shoulder. A tear rolled down Percy's cheek, and then he said:

"I think she'd be happy to see that. I think they would both be happy to see that. "

"They are, Percy. " he assured him. "They're looking out for us now. And they're looking out for Modesty. "

Percival put a kiss on his forehead, quickly wiped his cheeks, before smiling at his husband and saying:

"Never gonna give me up ? "

"Never. " Credence promised.

And with these words, they exchanged a kiss full of promises, a kiss that foretold marvelous days, a life of love, joy, tenderness, friendship, feelings and colors. This kiss was a combination of all the things they had lived together and all the things they were about to live. And in the midst of all these things, all these things said, all these things they had hidden, all these things they felt, all these things they had feared, all these things they had lost and all these things they were holding on to, there were them. And deep down, wasn't that the most beautiful and important thing? To feel alive?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, it's the end ^^ Feel free to leave a comment, and see you soon for new adventures ^^


End file.
